A Taste of Victory

What a difference a week makes.  What a difference some effort put into a difficult situation that has drawn on now for entirely too long makes.  What a difference a few victories that we've savored over the past several days has made in the life of our family. 

No, we haven't won the lottery or found the secret to world peace, but we have made some significant steps toward family peace and peace of mind.  Which is HUGE.

What, you ask, is the key to our recent victories?

While it may sound simple and like a no brainer to you, and not an entirely foreign concept to us (we've just not been practicing it lately), we've finally discovered that making a P-L-A-N to deal with some of our struggles goes a long way toward peace - even if the plan doesn't solve the problem immediately.

• Victory #1:  We've committed to 13 weeks in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, and we're making an intentional plan for our financial future (and present).  What a difference it makes for two married adults to actually take the time to sit down and talk with one another to figure out a budget for today, and our individual dreams for tomorrow.  While our financial situation isn't drastically different than it was before we created our budget, our hopes for the future, our perceptions of security, and our marriage are already reaping the benefits of our financial plan still under refinement.

• Victory #2: We've successfully eradicated the power struggles and yelling matches (no, I'm not proud of my behavior) that had everything to do with 'who left that mess on the kitchen floor', and 'how can you be so mean to your sister', and 'when will you clean your room (again!)'??  We've implemented an ingenious behavior/reward chart with our kids from a system I found called Accountable Kids.  

I mean, our girls are racing in the morning to take their showers, brush their teeth, make their beds, and eat breakfast before their tired parents even get out of bed!  YES, it's really that good!  What had been averaging something hideous like 4 or more hours of tv/computer/wii time per day (again, not proud of my behavior) has now been whittled down to less than 90 minutes (most days less than that), and I no longer have excessive amounts of guilt eating me alive while I try to work from home, watch after the kids, and otherwise run our household using tv as a babysitter.  In one fell swoop, we've finally found a way to teach our kids that their presence in our family is critically important to our family unit, they have responsibilities - just like mom and dad, and quality time is more important than anything else.  I could go on for several days... but I'll let you check out their system for yourself, if you haven't already found this nirvana in your own home.

• Victory #3: I've taken a hard look at my daily routine and work schedule and have realized that I cannot do all and be all that I want in the human form that I currently am.  My energy and time is finite, and limits have to be set.  I've begun setting them, restructuring my day, and giving myself permission to walk away from the unending work beckoning me from my computer screen for a bit to recharge.  What a concept!  As Steven Covey says about those who are highly successful, it's important to sharpen the saw.  Oh yeah, I forgot.  Too busy driving to stop and get gas...

• Victory #4:   I'm cooking for my family again, and doing so makes all of us healthier eaters and we're saving money at the grocery store.  (Yes, we've been eating all this time, but it's been more like me staring at whatever is left in our pantry/refrigerator and saying, "what do you guys want to eat tonight?")  It's really astonishing how much difference a meal plan, a shopping plan, and a daily dinner already planned out makes!  I found an incredibly helpful meal planning service called Relish! that I'm totally in love with, and while I've subscribed since August, I'm embarrassed to admit that I've not been terribly consistent with using it.  (It's not unlike that gym membership that I pay for, but...  Hey, I can't tackle everything all at once!)  Now that I am using it, I'm so much happier, and so is my husband.  :)

So, if I seem a little cheerier than normal, or less stressed out about the little things that go wrong (and do), you'll know that it's because I've seen some victories recently.  I've missed them for way too long.  And, they are so sweet.

What victories have you claimed lately?

I wanna diet my hair

So, just now, this was the conversation had with the four (going on 21 year old):

"Mom, when I get older I want you to diet my hair"

me: "why?"

"because"

me: "what color would I dye your hair?"

"you know that girl at the concert with the pink hair with a little bit of brown?"

me (searching my memory that doesn't always work as fast as it used to - then stopping at a mental image of a woman we saw with a shockingly deep shade of fuchsia hair): "why do you want your hair pink and brown?"

"oh, because it made her hair look good and I want mine to look good too when you diet it."

Does it ever amaze you that what they say is so many years beyond the language they have to express themselves?  I'm trying not to be too concerned for the teenage years just yet...

Sisters

So, this morning, I was in my office wrapping up some website work I've been doing and my two girls were sitting in the kitchen talking with one another.  I was eavesdropping and the exchange was too cute not to blog about.  Here's what I heard:

4 year old: "B, am I still your best sister ever?"
8 year old: "Um hmm.  D, you're my only sister."
4 year old: "Will I be your best sister for all of our lives?"
8 year old: "Yes."
4 year old: "Bless your heart."

Doesn't it make your heart melt?!?  So sweet.

A Clean House

I've blogged a bit before about how I'm contemplating some things, changing course in some areas, and otherwise trying to grow.  I'm happy to report that I'm making some progress and feel like I'm headed in the right direction, although I've still got significant ground to cover.  The growth comes in the journey.

Earlier this week, I was feeling motivated to clean this dirty house of mine, which is dirty because I've neglected to consistently get it clean beyond the tidying up that happens each afternoon (shortly before my husband comes home so he doesn't think I've been sitting home all day eating bon bons and watching soap operas).  But, I digress...

Anyway, so I was dusting and vacuuming yesterday, and D asks me, "Momma, why are you cleaning the house, is someone coming over??"  I deserved that.  I simply smiled and said, "No.  I just think it is nice to have a clean home."

Without missing a beat, she replies, "A clean house is a sign of a clean heart," and walks away. 

I have no idea where she heard that phrase.  But, in light of the cleaning up I've been doing lately (physically and emotionally), I thought it was so timely.  Do you ever wonder if our kids say things like that at just the exact time you needed to hear it because it isn't them saying it at all?  In that moment, and even today, I have no doubt.

Children, Don't Exasperate Your Parents

So, our 8 year old lately has been repeatedly asking the same question of every member of our family.  She's obviously very interested in the answers we all give, but apparently, we're not giving her the answer she's looking for, so she just keeps asking.  For her, hope springs eternal.  For us, exasperation is setting in.

Maybe it's the way we think as adults, or maybe it is truly a question with such an obvious answer that it needs not be asked (as I have often thought to myself).

See if you can figure out if there's more than one way to answer this question, because, so far, neither the four year old nor the mom nor dad can seem to get it right.  She asks, "What is your favorite part of going to sleep?"

To this random question (part of a series of "What is your favorite...?" from B lately), we have all independently (and more than once) answered, "the sleep part."  Seriously, is there any other possible answer?

Finally, this weekend, Kyle had the inspiration and genius to turn the question back on her (we have neglected to try that route, thus far).  As he asked her what her favorite part of falling asleep was, I thought, "That's perfect!  Finally, we'll get the long-awaited correct answer to the question that won't die!"

As I sat on the edge of my seat, and Kyle and D listened intently for her response, she says simply, "I dunno."

sigh

The sands of time

Isn't if funny how life throws us curves and bumps and peaks and valleys, but is always changing?  Recently, I've been completely awed by the fact that today looks so very different than yesterday (I'm talking figuratively, here, although literally applies, too).

• A week ago, it was last year.  NOW it is a new year, almost 100% full of unknown adventures and potential.
  
• A month ago, we were wrestling with a decision about what we could do to be better parents to our youngest child, in particular, who was clearly BORED OUT OF HER MIND (as evidenced by her artwork on our couch, among other places).  I was trying to work from home and earn some much needed extra income, and I was being pulled in too many directions to do anything really well (yes, this is a repeating theme in my life).  NOW we've taken a leap of faith and enrolled her in preschool, even though we were not sure at the time where the money would come from to fund this decision.  Today, I'm so overwhelmed with work from my freelance jobs that I'm relieved to have both the extra money and the time to myself every morning with both girls in school.  And she is THRIVING after only four days of preschool!! 
  
• Two months ago, I was wrestling with my own demons around whether we'll have that third child (brought to the forefront by the anniversary of losing our third pregnancy a year ago in Nov) AND I was really upset at the prospect of having to go back to work at a time I thought I really didn't want to.  NOW, while I still dream of having another baby to snuggle and nurture and raise, I'm starting to see around the corner and am getting excited for the future - whatever it may hold, instead of reminiscing in the past.  I'm also hopeful that some additional prospective job opportunities that have recently been brought to my attention will come to fruition.  (Isn't God so good?  I'm ashamed I doubted Him at all when He told me there would be joy again.)
• Four months ago, as the weather here was quickly cooling (it literally drops 20 degrees overnight, then again a few weeks later, then again a few weeks later) and I was beginning to feel cheated (I mean, my consolation for having to come to the desert was perpetual summertime, right?!?), I started to become even more bitter that I had been stripped from my home in Colorado and plunked in the desert where it still gets cold (albeit not quite as cold as CO) and I was lonely.  NOW, I'm able to get outside and run in 50-60 degree weather while I hear of the rest of the nation struggling through a winter cold front that has brought ice and snow and COLD for weeks on end.  For the moment, it looks like we're sitting pretty good weather-wise.
• Six months ago, we had just arrived in our new hometown and I was LONELY.  Really lonely.  And I longed for friendship in my new town, but it alluded me.  It seemed everywhere I looked I could see groups of women friends who were enjoying one another's company, but didn't seem to be interested in having me join them.  I felt disconnected and sad, and I desperately tried to keep in touch with all of my friends in CO to make up for it.  NOW I've found several women here in the desert who have been gracious to me and we're forming friendships that I can already tell will be strong, regardless of physical location in the future.  We're finally feeling plugged in to our church home and there are people in this city who know our names and notice when we're out of town.  I'm feeling some connection and that is huge.  And, as an added bonus (because that is just how generous our God is), a friend of mine from CO will be relocating here in three week's time.  Seriously, I couldn't not have made that up!!  Can you say "RUNNING PARTNER?!?!"
  
• Eight months ago, we were preparing to leave our home, packing our things, saying goodbye, and shedding lots and lots of tears.  We were headed to the unknown and it was scary and sad and frustrating and all of that tied into one.  NOW, that is behind us and we are able to see the blessings of where we are versus where we've been, and while we still miss our friends and our home in CO, it is ok.  We've made new kinds of connections with them, and those friendships transcend location.
  

It's going to be ok.  What a difference time makes.  I'm so glad I hung in there, and I hope I'll never forget these lessons while I keep my attention on what is to come.

Thank you for journeying this far with me, and thank you, in advance, for sticking with me - you are a blessing!

Where did the time go?!?

I cannot believe it is already almost two weeks since my last post.  :(  Yikes!  Guess life has got me busy. 

Here are a few pics from the last two weeks - we spent Christmas at home then the last week of the year traveling over 2000 miles driving from Vegas to northern California, then down the coast to San Diego.  Whew! 

 

 

We got home last night and it may take a week to recover.  This morning, however, both girls were rarin' to get to school - D started preschool today.  This morning, I overheard her asking her sister for advice about meeting kids in a new school.  She wanted to be sure that she did all she could to make friends and thought B would have some good tips.  (are they like 25 already??  so cute!) 

When I went to pick her up, she asked me if we were going to have lunch then come back to school for the afternoon.  She was disappointed to hear she'd have to wait until tomorrow to go back - guess she liked it.  :)  Then, later this afternoon when we got in the car to pick up her sister from school she said, "I'm not so lucky.  B gets to go to school all day long." 

This is a good thing, right?!? 

Seriously?? The Things Parents Say... Part 2

So, I might have spoken too soon with the submission of my last post.  Believe it or not, I have been collecting these parental comments for some time now, waiting until I had most of them before writing my dissertation rant to the blogosphere.  Silly me, thinking I had said them all.

Alas, literally moments after posting part one, I emerged from my office to find that my youngest had some artistic inspiration of her own that she couldn't contain in her imagination alone.

Done in blue ink, here are Denali's artistic additions to our couch, bathroom sink, and ottoman. These are the three largest, thus they would show up best in a photo for the blog, but rest assured that there were other spots where our budding illustrator chose to leave her mark (my comforter, her walls, some random boxes that are still sitting around the house unpacked).

So, I add to my collection of parental comments one never thought they'd have to say outloud: "There is no drawing on the furniture!"  Which reminds me, I forgot to add "It's not OK to flush mommy's wedding ring down the toilet."

Seriously?? The Things Parents Say...

This is a shout out to the parents who read my blog (and an attempt to make myself feel better for the experiences I go through daily).  I just have one question for all of us.  What is up with the things we have to say to our kids that A) we never thought we'd hear coming out of our mouths until it flies out of our lips, and B) we never thought would be necessary to actually have to say???

You know how some things sound so ridiculous, like they should be common sense and no one should ever have to be told?  We have some laws like that, there are policies in every organization like that, and I'm beginning to think that the complete disregard for common sense must stem from when we're children.

Obviously, rules have to be made because somewhere, at some point in time, someone actually committed an act so shockingly ridiculous that the rest of us needed to be told it isn't allowed.  

Here's a sampling of "parental comments" that I've said at one time or another over the past 8 years (and counting...):

• Don't lick the table!
• Why is there poop on the wall?
• Don't chew your shirt.
  
• We are not taking a worm home for a pet.
• Leave the cat alone - it's not ok to pull her tail.
• There's no dancing in the wine dept. at the grocery store.
• Leave the cat alone - she does not like baths in the sink.
• It's not ok to suck water out of a wet towel because you're thirsty.
• Don't chew the pencil eraser, or the metal that connects it to the pencil, or the pencil, or the pen.
• Put the dishes in the dishwasher (no, that's not my job).
• Leave the cat alone - it's not ok to shut her in your room all day long.
• Take your hair out of your mouth.
• The couch is for sitting, not jumping.
• This is a restaurant, not a jungle gym.
• Don't chew on your toenails.
• Please shut the door when you use the bathroom (regardless of where we are).
• If it's not food, drink, or a toothbrush, it doesn't belong in your mouth.
• LEAVE THE CAT ALONE!!!!

Whew.  I know it must sound like I spend all day correcting my kids from their feral behaviors, and that's because I do.  It just seems like sometimes some of these things should go without saying.  Doesn't it??  I guess, I'll just keep saying them...

Rocking the Boat

Have you ever noticed that when one member of a group, whatever the group might be, is off balance, the whole group loses balance? In this case, the group I'm referring to is our family, but I think this principle applies to all groups where people interact with and depend upon one another - including friends, clubs, churches, schools, governments, charitable organizations and for profit businesses.

(Now, many of you may find yourselves thinking about members of your own family that are off balance, but try to stay with me here - this is an easy way to get distracted, and I've already written about how I'm losing that battle lately...)

Anyway, this week was a week of change and family-member-off-balanceness (is that a word?). It wasn't any one member who was off balance at any given time, and, at least this week, it wasn't always me.

One person in our family this week got sick (again), another had some difficult challenges personally that caused an emotional setback. The rest of the family members, who weren't the boat rockers at that given moment (believe me, we all take turns!), just tried to hold on and keep things moving in the right direction. But being unaffected was not an option, even though some of us might have wanted it that way.

The details are less important than the big picture. What is important to take away from this week, for me, is that one member of the family who is experiencing drama of any kind can easily rock the family boat. Whether or not one person realizes it, their drama impacts the other people in their group - sometimes in minor ways, sometimes in not-so-minor ways, but there is always an impact. But, there's also always an opportunity to come together as a group and overcome one person's struggle together.

Then, I got to thinking about my own drama (yes, occasionally, I experience a tiny bit). My thoughts turn to something I heard years ago about how the wife/mother of a family is often (or always) in a position to set the tone for the entire family. The phrasing was more eloquent than, "if momma ain't happy, then no one's happy," but it had the same sentiment. It's a big responsibility, and one that I don't always successfully engage in, but so true in my experience. When I start focusing on my family, and less on my own "stuff," the whole group is better for it. And, when I have some type of personal struggle (because we all do) and it's my turn to rock the boat, I can always rely on my family to rally around me, because I'm not in this alone.

It's not really rocket science, it's just interesting to me at the moment that we're so interconnected. In a world where many of us sometimes feel all alone (myself included), when you really think about it, even the littlest ripple in one person's life can make an impact on so many others.

Just a few things I'm pondering today...

What do we know of holy?

I was at a small group this week and getting to know some people here a little better and something struck me during a conversation with a woman and her husband. They are new to the church and are planning to be baptized soon, and we were talking about raising our kids in the faith and how hard that can be when we feel like we don't know it all or have it all together ourselves. And I wonder if I ever will have it all together.

There was no discussion about this, but my mind turned to the spiritual elitism that I've seen in the church that can easily pollute this young couple in the faith. They were talking about how it was intimidating to come to church for the first few times because they are so new to Christianity, and I was thinking about how it was intimidating to me because I was so new to the area. Different but the same - we were both being fed the same lie. I felt compelled to welcome these two children of God into the family, and assure them of their great worth - with or without all the knowledge they seek - they know Jesus and that is what is important to Him. Really, what else to do we need?

He speaks to each and every one of us individually - in a way that only speaks to us because He knows us inside and out. And He wants us to know and seek Him in the same way, with the same passion and intensity. When I think about that, I'm humbled to think that He cares that much about me - all my flaws and failures included. Like this couple, He loves me even though I don't know all the great Bible stories by heart and never went to VBS as a kid.

Later that day, I was driving and this song came on the radio by Addison Road. I've heard it at least four times since our meeting last week, and keep thinking about posting on this topic. I am finally getting it done. Enjoy the song and ask yourself, "what do you know of holy?"

This is a test...

So, we went to see the movie _Up_ yesterday (incredible film, btw) - you really should see it. Beautiful and full of relevant life lessons and great messages.

So, there was this one scene (don't worry, I won't spoil anything) when the main character has to make a choice. A choice that is between something that is deeply important to him (understandably) and something that should be deeply important to all of us, but something the character isn't all that attached to, comparatively speaking.

At that moment, I was really (I mean, REALLY) identifying with the main character and his dilemma. I got so wrapped up in his situation that I lost sight of what the right choice was. I had to actually ask myself what it was and I wasn't sure for a moment. Well, in the spirit of total honesty, I asked myself because my 7 year old daughter was talking in my ear and asked me, "Momma, what is the right choice?" In that moment, I really wasn't sure, and as I write this, I'm baffled and amazed at how easily and completely I lost sight of truth and the stark difference between right and wrong. My judgement was clouded, just like the character's was, because of my own human emotion and selfishness.

I found myself saying the same things the character in the movie was - "I didn't ask for this!" and "It's none of my concern!" when faced with the consequences that would fall upon one of the other characters if I, ahem, the main character chose what he really wanted. It doesn't help that I've faced a very similar loss lately to the one he was facing if he chose against his desires - he would be giving up his home where all his memories were made. I mean, I was really feeling for the poor guy, ahem, myself (once again!).

I was shaken abruptly back into reality when my daughter answered her own question, saying, "the right choice is A because that is really more important than B, right momma?" (she did not say 'A' and 'B', I'm omitting the details so as not to spoil the movie for you!) A was the universally important choice, the one that valued the life and well-being of another character, and B was the personally important choice to the main character. My 7 year old knew the answer right away after considering the options, and I did not until she told me how she came to that conclusion! It was such an 'Aha' moment. I think I told her like 10 times how she was right, that 'A' was absolutely the right choice. Almost as though repeating it would forever etch it in my own brain so I'd never forget that again!

I'm not sure whether to be more overwhelmed with complete pride for my daughter, who obviously has absorbed some truth and is learning to filter real life through that truth, or with complete horror over my own sudden amnesia about that same truth because of my personal struggle with materialism and wanting to put my needs before others'.

I was reminded of this scene this morning while reading my devotional, which spoke about how we are put to the test time and time again in this life with the purpose of learning to do the right thing, rather than just saying what we'll do if faced with certain circumstances. Our true character is shown by what we do, not by just what we say we'll do.

This is a test.

I want to pass the way my daughter did yesterday.

Well done, Aubrielle.

Trying hard NOT to pray for patience, but...

I need it!! Where did mine go? It seems like it's completely dried up altogether these days.

Earlier this week I was talking with a friend about how we should be careful what we pray for - because we just might get it. I'm so tempted to pray for the peace that patience would seemingly bring, but I know that in the past that hasn't worked out so well for me. I end up facing more situations that require me to develop more patience. In the long term, this would be helpful, but not so much in the here and now.

I guess what I need to pray for today is the peace that I'm longing for. The absence of feeling annoyed and tired of the same parental remarks I'm repeating untold times throughout each day (like, "stop chewing on that," "be nice to your sister," and "no, I didn't tell you it was ok to give the cat a bath").

Sigh. Raising children is hard work.

Time flies...

Wow! Has it already been a whole week since I last blogged?? Time is slipping away from me. Seems there is lots of exploring to do and as it turns out, two young children are hungry for my attention now that school's out and we're in a new environment. But, it's been good.

We've had a steady diet of visiting parks, some with spray parks built in, some just utilized for their pathways while we bike ride (Bri is now riding without training wheels, which was previously not achieved because of the mountainous area we used to call home = not so safe for learning to ride a bike).

We spent Father's Day at the beach in California - a quick weekend road trip to Huntington Beach, west of LA. What a fun time! It is so much fun to brave the strong ocean waves and marvel at just how amazingly huge the sea is and just how small we are. We had a great time with the children - this was Denali's first time at the coast (that she can remember). During the ride out, she kept asking when we were getting to the pool - that was her frame of reference, and we DID have swimming suits! Bri and Kyle got boogy boards and rode some waves. We had a nice dinner at a local Italian restaurant and strolled home (to the hotel) on the beach in our dress clothes. While it was a little chillier than we've been used to (it was 60-70 degrees the whole time we were there), it was a welcome break from the heat of the desert.

Yesterday, I broke down and decided it was time to end the denial and finally register Bri for school here. We got ready, then gathered up the various paperwork they required from us and went over to the school, only to be told that Bri is missing a vaccination?!? Funny, no one ever mentioned that before to me... So, we were turned away (again) and told to get the shot and come back. Seriously?

This required that I find a pediatrician ASAP, which is something that is on my to do list, but I thought I'd have a little more time for that... Anyway, we have that appt. this afternoon.

So, in a not so neat nutshell, that is what we've been up to. It's a wonder how the busyness of daily life can take over - especially at a time when I was just sure I'd be bored and wondering what to do with myself. HA!

A monumental hair cut

Yesterday, after countless mornings of fights and tears over the task of brushing Bri's beautiful, but unruly head of curly, long hair, we decided to take her for her first ever haircut by a professional (I don't count as professional in this area!). Here are a couple of shots.

Just to give you an idea of the amount of hair that was cut off.

Her new look.

She says she feels "so different now" and she told me this morning that her new favorite hobby is brushing her hair - with no pain involved! She seems to have a whole new outlook on life since yesterday afternoon, and is so excited to show her school mates - she wants to get to school early today. Isn't it interesting how our countenence changes with something slightly altered? I feel the same way after a good haircut, pedicure, or relaxing massage (we really need to not neglect ourselves as much as we do!).

While it was harder for me to see her long hair go, I have to admit that it is nice to easily be able to brush through her hair now (the price we've paid for beauty all this time!!). However, I do distinctly recall sitting in the salon watching my little girl get her first "real" haircut and realizing in a very big way in that moment that she is growing up so fast. Before we know it, we'll be picking out prom dresses and discussing makeup techniques. Ah, the bittersweet taste of motherhood as we realize we are working ourselves out of a job...

March is here!!

Spring has seemingly sprung this week in Colorado (almost three weeks early)! I don't know about you, but there is a special "right with the world" feeling that I have whenever there is a little more sunshine and a little less snow right about this time of year. Now, I know that March is traditionally a very heavy snowfall kinda month for us here in the Rockies, but so far, so good.

We took the kids to Breckenridge skiing on Sunday and it was wonderfully warm - hot even. Each and every one of us got a sunburn on our faces because Kyle and I were negligent in applying sunscreen. While my face is a bit lobsteresque right now, I wear it proudly, for it means good things are on their way, weather-wise.

Yesterday, in an attempt to integrate my daily workout into my daily mommy pick-up-the-kids-from-school duties, I decided to take advantage of our 60 degree weather and run to the church to pick up Denali, then walk with her to Aubrielle's school, then the three of us would walk home together. Great plan! The run went well (it's downhill the whole way!!), the walk from Denali's school to Bri's was fine, it gave her and I time to debrief her day together. We played at Bri's school until her bell rang, and we all set off to go home. While it was a rather lofty goal for a three year old (Bri's school is about 1.5 miles from our house, Denali's is about 2), she told me earlier in the day not to bring her stroller, because "I'm not a baby, mom". So, I obeyed and she walked. Slowly. Sometimes, riding piggy-back style on me, sometimes walking on her own. But, we eventually got there, nonetheless. Bri is already making plans to bring some of her own money to stop at the Loaf N Jug on our way home to get us snacks today when we walk home. Guess I started a new tradition! You gotta love when kids get excited to spend time together walking home from school.

Anyway, carry on, my friends. Just thought I'd share the love. Enjoy this warmth while it lasts!!

Just one more thing

So, I'm driving in the car today and one of my favorite songs by Sara Groves comes on my CD player, "Just One More Thing". I really like this song - like all of Sara's music, the lyrics are deep and truthful and cause me to examine myself (and it doesn't hurt that it has just the right cadence for my running pace!). This is my quintessential mother motivator song that ALWAYS convicts me of how I'm so Type A and my kids are suffering because of it. Listening to Sara plead with herself to set her priorities straight and make time for her kids, I get to thinking (once again!) about my own lifestyle. I always seem to make time for the Internet, or spinning class, or whatever it is I'm consumed with at the moment. So why don't I exert the same amount of time and energy when it comes to quality time with my girls?

I'm always saying "be there in a minute" or "not now, mommy's busy". Before I know it the day is gone and I didn't ever get to the easy bake oven or playing with them and their my little ponies. I'm never at a loss for more tasks - laundry always has to be done, floors need swept, lunches need made, my "real job" is calling... I'm like every other honest mother in the world who admits the truth about being overwhelmed and sick with hurry (I can see each of you collectively nodding in understanding).

It hasn't been that long since both of my girls were born - where did seven and three years go already??? I can see the writing on the wall - if I don't slow down and simply *be* with them, it will be 10 years later and it will be too late. So, what's the answer? Do I quit my job, let go of my ministry and volunteer responsibilities and check out of my life so I can check in to theirs? I know that's simplification, but I have to wonder. Is this impending move God's way of getting my attention? Forceably removing me from all of my commitments and requiring me to reboot my life to fit my family? Maybe so - maybe not. But what a shame if I miss the wake up call and require more drastic attention getting measures. As Sara says so well, "at the end of your life your relationships are all you've got".

Here's the whole, heartwrenching and thought provoking song: