I wanna diet my hair

So, just now, this was the conversation had with the four (going on 21 year old):

"Mom, when I get older I want you to diet my hair"

me: "why?"

"because"

me: "what color would I dye your hair?"

"you know that girl at the concert with the pink hair with a little bit of brown?"

me (searching my memory that doesn't always work as fast as it used to - then stopping at a mental image of a woman we saw with a shockingly deep shade of fuchsia hair): "why do you want your hair pink and brown?"

"oh, because it made her hair look good and I want mine to look good too when you diet it."

Does it ever amaze you that what they say is so many years beyond the language they have to express themselves?  I'm trying not to be too concerned for the teenage years just yet...

You know you live in Vegas when...

The latest inspiration for this post hit me recently.  But first, I must tell you a story.

I have a very lovely friend here in Vegas who I met in an, um, well, unconventional way.  She actually met my SIL first, and it was through their chance encounter at a pet store where my daughter and her aunt went for some afternoon time together and a conversation was struck up.  My name was mentioned (as the actual mother of the child my SIL had with her), as was my struggle to get to know people in my new city (I'd been here all of two months and was frustrated and lonely and telling everyone all about it).  So my soon-to-be friend boldly asked my SIL for my phone number and shared her own, no doubt thinking she could help me out and score another play mate for her darling then-three year old. 

(I really think, had it been me, I might have not been so willing to put myself out there with a total stranger, to yet another total stranger, and when I think of that, I am ashamed and sad to think that, because of my insecurities, I would have missed out on a really great friendship.)

Anyway, when my SIL brought my youngest home and handed me a phone number of a woman I'd never met, I truly thought she was crazy.  I then began running through all the possible scenarios that would prove this was a scam or some equally mischievous plot to...  well, I dunno - do something to harm me or my family (not that I'm suspicious, or paranoid, or anything) - but I came up with none.

A few days later, I got a text from my future friend asking me if I'd want to have "a cuppa", and I immediately had a sense this was someone I was going to like (her British accent and random English phrases were endearing, too).  We've been getting together every few weeks for a cuppa (and maybe some good cookies, muffins, or anything chocolate) since.  (If you're reading this, C, it's been awhile!  Let's get together soon!!)

None of this is really a "you know you live in Vegas when...," except for:

• where else would a mom be so willing to reach out to another because she understood the difficulties inherent in trying to meet friends in Las Vegas (which really does have a certain level of difficulty all its own here)?
• where else, but an international community, would I make a friend from "across the pond", who charms me with her British ways and makes me feel so intimidated to make a cup of tea?

Anyway, the point for telling you all that, was to tell you that we were invited to a bowling birthday party for my friend's little one who is turning 4.  And, that day, as I was traversing an insanely huge casino with my two kids in tow - complete with the not-so-fresh aroma of chain smokers, the nauseatingly busy carpet, the overstimulation of dinging and clanging and flashing lights, multiple buffet lines, and not a single clock or window or other way to connect with reality in sight, it hit me.

You know you live in Vegas when you drag your kids through the sights, sounds, and smells of local casinos to take them to a birthday party for one of their friends in the casino's bowling alley.  (Where they have a blast for two hours, life is as normal as it gets, and you meet some really nice people who you've never met before.)  But still, you should have seen some of the looks I got from those who were there to gamble, as if they were saying, "lady, you brought your kids here?"

Next time, I'll know to park right outside the doors that go straight into the bowling alley...

You know you live in Vegas when...

This weekend, we had family visiting us here in Las Vegas. Our girls were thrilled to spend ample time swimming in the hotel pool where our family stayed, and playing the wii in the hotel lobby. We spent considerable time at this particular hotel over the last several days.

Now that life has returned to normal, I thought I'd blog about my latest "you know you live in Vegas when..." moment.

We were headed to the pool from the fourth floor room my family was inhabiting for the weekend and both girls were excitedly running toward the elevators. My youngest said to my oldest, "it's my turn!" (to push the buttons) and my oldest said, "ok," then turned to me to explain that she and her sister were "taking turns working the elevators this weekend."

I then caught a sideways glance from my family member (who does not live in Vegas), and cracked up when he said, "I'll bet that's said outside of many an elevator here in Vegas!"

LOL!! Touche.

But, my daughters are waaaaay too young to have any idea what he meant - and I'm going to work to keep it that way!

You know you live in Vegas when...

Last night I was enjoying a mom's night out with my local MOPS group and the funniest thing was said.  It gave me an idea for a new series of posts titled, "You know you live in Vegas when..." 

Anyway, the ladies and I were discussing how it can be difficult to meet neighbors in this city that never sleeps - everyone is on a different schedule, and when it's over 100 degrees outside, most people prefer not to be socializing outdoors.  One of the women in my group was talking about her neighbors, and her comment reminded me that I'm not in Colorado anymore, Toto.

You know you live in Vegas when a friend says (in all seriousness), "My next door neighbor is a dealer, so he works late nights."  Then, sensing an awkward silence, she chimed in, "NOT a drug dealer."

LOL!

There will be more of these to follow, as I'm often struck by some of the things I'm experiencing while I'm getting used to living in the desert.  I thought you'd enjoy them, too!

Lone Nut or Fearless Leader? You Decide.

A blog post was forwarded to me today and it gave me pause to think.  I get the concept and I'm intrigued by it... 

The jury's still out if I agree with the conclusion the original blogger came to about what makes a true leader (and who that is), and I'd love to hear your thoughts (feel free to leave them below!!). 

(Taken from http://sivers.org/ff:)

Welcome to March, National Caffeine Awareness Month

So, I'm not really trying to say that addiction is a laughing matter - it is not.  Anyone who's ever struggled to overcome any addiction knows just how hard it is to kick the habit, whether it be to food, smoking, alcohol, drugs, television, exercise, pedicures...  (well, you get my point).

But, apropos of one of my friend's very recent texts about how Starbucks should deliver, and since I did run through the drive-through this very morning to get my favorite highly caffeinated drink (venti non-fat cappuccino, in case you'd ever like to surprise me one morning...), I thought it was really humorous when I learned that March is National Caffeine Awareness Month.   And, because today is the first day of the month, I thought I should blog on the topic, in honor.

(If I could insert right here an audible snippet of my laughing out loud, and it wouldn't be more annoying or disturbing than not, I so would.)

I mean, seriously??

There is an entire association dedicated to the education of the public about caffeine and its ill-effects on people, society, and the economy.  HUH?

I know, I know.  Addiction to anything is indicative of a life out of balance.  Addiction to caffeine can cause serious health effects, and I hear it's not too good for your nerves or the whiteness of your teeth.  I do know that an abrupt halt in caffeine usage can cause some serious headaches and general angst in my own life, but I think that might just be proving the Caffeine Awareness Association's point, and that isn't helping my cause.  I like, no LOVE my coffee every single morning, and find that my day goes so much worse when I don't get it (on the very rare occasions that actually happens).  My day is made happier with that early morning kick of caffeine, and, if drinking it is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

Oh, and the other thing that I found funny about the Caffeine Awareness Association is that it is based out of Seattle, the birthplace of all great coffee.  Come to think of it, if not for the rainy, dreary weather, I could totally consider living in Seattle JUST for the coffee.  I'm just sayin'...

Children, Don't Exasperate Your Parents

So, our 8 year old lately has been repeatedly asking the same question of every member of our family.  She's obviously very interested in the answers we all give, but apparently, we're not giving her the answer she's looking for, so she just keeps asking.  For her, hope springs eternal.  For us, exasperation is setting in.

Maybe it's the way we think as adults, or maybe it is truly a question with such an obvious answer that it needs not be asked (as I have often thought to myself).

See if you can figure out if there's more than one way to answer this question, because, so far, neither the four year old nor the mom nor dad can seem to get it right.  She asks, "What is your favorite part of going to sleep?"

To this random question (part of a series of "What is your favorite...?" from B lately), we have all independently (and more than once) answered, "the sleep part."  Seriously, is there any other possible answer?

Finally, this weekend, Kyle had the inspiration and genius to turn the question back on her (we have neglected to try that route, thus far).  As he asked her what her favorite part of falling asleep was, I thought, "That's perfect!  Finally, we'll get the long-awaited correct answer to the question that won't die!"

As I sat on the edge of my seat, and Kyle and D listened intently for her response, she says simply, "I dunno."

sigh

TGIF-F!!

So, yesterday, I spent all day thinking it was Friday.  I was planning a nice dinner (not that it has to be Friday for that), with a nice bottle of wine for my husband and I to share (after all, we'd be able to sleep in a bit later tomorrow).  I was thinking about the weekend, and happily looking forward to some time off from the work of the weekdays.

Maybe it was the fact that I was ready for Friday (quite likely).  Or maybe it was that my oldest daughter would not have school the next day because of an inservice day for the teachers (conveniently scheduled on a Friday AND the Friday before a holiday on Monday, but I digress...).  Who knows what I was thinking, but I was totally convinced it was Friday all day long yesterday.

It wasn't.

It was only Thursday, and the realization hit me around 6 pm - HARD.  You know the feeling - like when you suddenly remember an appointment you made at the very last minute, or when it occurs to you that you forgot your best friend's birthday, or when you realize your child is still at home when you ran out to the store in a rush, or something similar - not that I've ever done either of those things...  I'm just saying.

Anyway, Thank God it's Friday - Finally!  When I really think about it, whatever I didn't like about yesterday's Friday is gone, and today is like a do over Friday.  I guess a week with two Friday's isn't a bad week at all...

Enjoy your weekend!  :)

Spreading Some Christmas Cheer

Because I could use a good laugh right about now, as I'm knee deep in another Christmas "season" (see my previous post), I thought I'd share this with you.  I hope you are finding the cheer this month!

Seriously?? The Things Parents Say... Part 2

So, I might have spoken too soon with the submission of my last post.  Believe it or not, I have been collecting these parental comments for some time now, waiting until I had most of them before writing my dissertation rant to the blogosphere.  Silly me, thinking I had said them all.

Alas, literally moments after posting part one, I emerged from my office to find that my youngest had some artistic inspiration of her own that she couldn't contain in her imagination alone.

Done in blue ink, here are Denali's artistic additions to our couch, bathroom sink, and ottoman. These are the three largest, thus they would show up best in a photo for the blog, but rest assured that there were other spots where our budding illustrator chose to leave her mark (my comforter, her walls, some random boxes that are still sitting around the house unpacked).

So, I add to my collection of parental comments one never thought they'd have to say outloud: "There is no drawing on the furniture!"  Which reminds me, I forgot to add "It's not OK to flush mommy's wedding ring down the toilet."

Seriously?? The Things Parents Say...

This is a shout out to the parents who read my blog (and an attempt to make myself feel better for the experiences I go through daily).  I just have one question for all of us.  What is up with the things we have to say to our kids that A) we never thought we'd hear coming out of our mouths until it flies out of our lips, and B) we never thought would be necessary to actually have to say???

You know how some things sound so ridiculous, like they should be common sense and no one should ever have to be told?  We have some laws like that, there are policies in every organization like that, and I'm beginning to think that the complete disregard for common sense must stem from when we're children.

Obviously, rules have to be made because somewhere, at some point in time, someone actually committed an act so shockingly ridiculous that the rest of us needed to be told it isn't allowed.  

Here's a sampling of "parental comments" that I've said at one time or another over the past 8 years (and counting...):

• Don't lick the table!
• Why is there poop on the wall?
• Don't chew your shirt.
  
• We are not taking a worm home for a pet.
• Leave the cat alone - it's not ok to pull her tail.
• There's no dancing in the wine dept. at the grocery store.
• Leave the cat alone - she does not like baths in the sink.
• It's not ok to suck water out of a wet towel because you're thirsty.
• Don't chew the pencil eraser, or the metal that connects it to the pencil, or the pencil, or the pen.
• Put the dishes in the dishwasher (no, that's not my job).
• Leave the cat alone - it's not ok to shut her in your room all day long.
• Take your hair out of your mouth.
• The couch is for sitting, not jumping.
• This is a restaurant, not a jungle gym.
• Don't chew on your toenails.
• Please shut the door when you use the bathroom (regardless of where we are).
• If it's not food, drink, or a toothbrush, it doesn't belong in your mouth.
• LEAVE THE CAT ALONE!!!!

Whew.  I know it must sound like I spend all day correcting my kids from their feral behaviors, and that's because I do.  It just seems like sometimes some of these things should go without saying.  Doesn't it??  I guess, I'll just keep saying them...

Lost In Translation

Here's part of yesterday's conversation coming from the backseat as we waited for her 

big sister to get out of school...

Denali: "Mom, what are the bumpy things behind your ears?  Your whackers? 

What did you say that was again?"
 

Me: "Denali, I'm not sure what you're talking about."
 

Denali (frustrated): "You know, the whackers!!!"
 

Me (after much confusion and deep thought) : "Do you mean wax?  Ear wax?"
 

Denali (laughing): "Oohhh!  Wax!"
 

...It must be tough trying to learn language and all about the world at the same time!! 

And, yes, I'm still confused about the"bumpy things behind your ears" 

- maybe she needs a bath... 

Breakin the Rules

Sometimes you just have to break the rules. 

You know those days when what you had planned isn't exactly what you wanted to do with your precious little time?  Or, more accurately, when what you had planned was just exactly opposite what you wanted to do?  In fact, have you ever felt like going through with what you had planned would cause unnecessary stress, hardship, pain, and suffering??

Well, today was one of those days for me.  What I had planned was to meet my trainer for the last of our appointments at the gym.  What I REALLY wanted to do was anything but meet my trainer at the gym.  Seriously. 

Root canal?  Ok! 

Change a friend's kid's blown out diaper?  Sign me up! 

Just don't make me endure one more session of weight lifting with the trainer who will not listen to me now matter how much I tell her I loathe that particular form of exercise!! 

I mean, I'm not afraid to sweat.  I LOVE spinning, swimming endless laps in a pool, and running triathlons.  I'm no stranger to the gym, and under any other circumstances I doubt I'd be so adamant.  What is it about this trainer that makes me long to crawl under a rock and hide?  What is it about lifting weights that makes me wish I could go poke pins in my eyes instead??  Why, when I volunteered for this, am I IM'ing a friend with less than 13 minutes before my appt. so she could make me feel better about the way I was feeling? (Thanks, Sunny, for your unwavering support!)

Anyway, so what I had planned today was just SO not what I wanted to do.  So, I didn't.  Instead, Denali and I went to In n Out Burger and the park for lunch.

I hope the guilt doesn't eat me alive...

Gross!

Did you know that we (yes, this includes you) swallow a quart of mucus every day? Learned that little gem at the Grossology exhibit today. Thought I'd share. :) Try working that into a conversation!!

Some helpful advice...

I came across these and thought you'd enjoy, too (I know you can relate)! Laughter is such great medicine!! :)

Tim Hawkins - "Things you don't say to your wife"


Tim Hawkins - "On Parenting"

Mom, there's a squirrel in the house!

 Photo under creative commons license by dotpolka

So, this morning, each of us were hurredly getting ready for our days - Aubrielle was tidying up her room, Kyle was downstairs getting started with his work, and I was in our bathroom trying to get my hair to cooperate (with little luck). Suddenly, I hear Denali nervously giggling as she ran through the house. She annouced with glee, "Mom, there's a squirrel in the house!" as she ran by with the newspaper she'd just dutifully picked up outside for her father.

Knowing too well the jokester Denali is and her    active three year old imagination, as well as the fact that we have a rampant squirrel population in our neighborhood (ask me about the time they were living in our attic!), I was not sure what to think. But, it was possible enough that I was worried.

Kyle, on the other hand, although he did bound up the stairs upon hearing Denali's proclamation, quickly dismissed it when he did not see evidence of any rodents under the dining room table where Denali was pointing. He said confidently, "I think she just thought she saw the squirrel come inside after seeing it outside."

Denali looked a little perplexed as to where the squirrel went that she was sure she saw sneak inside the open front door while she was retrieving the paper. So, she continued to look around. Kyle, on the other hand, was convinced there was nothing to worry about and began heading back downstairs. I headed back to my bathroom to continue my battle with my unruly hair, placing my hope in my husband's confidence and closing every door in the hallway on my way back - just in case.

A few seconds later, I hear Kyle yell out and Denali sqeal once again with delight - they'd spotted the squirrel. In the laundry room.

What is it about mice and spiders and rodents (in general) that makes women like me, who are normally very rational, suddenly turn into a hysterical screaming mess completely consumed by fear?!? And what, exactly, was I afraid of? Despite the relative smallness of this furry creature, I was terrified.

All I can say is, thank the Good Lord that Kyle was home this morning and was able to bravely shut himself inside our tiny little laundry room with the squirrel (to avoid letting it get out and run through our house). He closed the door behind him, we heard a scuffle and a muffled grunt from my manly husband, then he emerged victorious, annoucing that the squirrel, after jumping onto the top of his head and then slamming itself into our wall, was able to navigate out the open window to the great outdoors, where it belongs. Problem solved.

He then apologized to our youngest for doubting what she swore was true. There WAS a squirrel in the house. What a funny start to the day - no doubt both girls will be announcing our squirrel adventure to their classes as soon as they can raise their little hands to speak. :)

A good laugh

I don't know about you, but this morning, I needed a good laugh. This video of Anita Renfroe's parody of Faith Hill's song "Just Breathe" gave it to me, and I hope it will bring some humor into your day, too! She is so silly!! This is in honor of my husband, who is out of town currently, so I'm free from this particular phenomenon this week. (He did give me permission to post this, btw!!) Enjoy! :)