Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Time flies, and some other revelations

Wow - has it really been nearly two months since I last bothered to post on this blog?!?  Why, yes it has...

Someone recently asked me if I'll ever post again and it occurred to me that it's easier to stay quiet when you lose your voice for a time.  Breaking my silence of the past couple of months is hard - kinda like finding lost momentum.  But, because at least one person misses my writing, and yet another major life transition is just around the corner (after all, that is why I'm blogging in the first place!), here goes.

I suppose I should begin by catching you up to speed with the unpredictable and downright zany cluster of events that I call my life.  Along with the hustle and bustle normally accompanying the "holiday season", my family and I have had some added stressors requiring considerable processing (spoken like a true counselor - my professors would be so proud).  The processing has essentially taken over for me, hence my lack of writing (I'm pretty sure that isn't how this is supposed to work...).

Now that I feel like I have a better handle on what is going on, I can find the courage to share with you.  (Are you on the edge of your seat, yet?!?)

It seems that our time in the desert is quickly coming to an end and we will be moving to another state, another climate, and another home in June.  There.  I said it.

'What?', you say, 'another move?  Didn't you JUST move??'  Why, yes, we did.  2 moves in exactly 2 years is a lot to wrap my head around, yet that is exactly what we're being led to do.

My hubby's job is transferring him to, of all places, South Dakota.  So, in a few short months, we'll be packing up (again) and saying goodbye to the warm desert and moving to the frontier of the Black Hills.  (Is my lack of enthusiasm and otherwise poor attitude about this new adventure showing?!?  I'm working on this, for the record.) 

To say that I'm not thrilled about this new locale is quite possibly the understatement of the year.  I'm just getting my groove here in the desert - meeting great people and developing strong friendships, soaking in the weather here (I'm so totally a warm weather girl), and reveling in the shopping and amenities that come from city life... and now God has chosen to move me to a small (itsy, bitsy, teeny, tiny) town, with no Starbucks or Target stores, and where snow happens.  A lot.  (I don't even kinda like snow.)  We'll be the new kids in town (again) with no connection.  Starting over (again).  Is it just me, or are you sensing a pattern here??

And while I'm tempted (a lot) to wallow in self pity, I'm also determined to not lose sight of the fact that there must be some good reason for all of this. 'For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' (Jer 29:11)  These words are as true today as they were two years ago when loss after loss after loss were being hurled in our direction at a breakneck pace.  And they will be true when things finally settle down and we can see some glimpse of His good plan.

There is great wisdom in the counsel I've recently sought that reassures me that God is doing a great work, even though it is hard for us to see just how it will all come together in the temporal.

Do you ever think, like I'm beginning to think, that He allows intense difficulty in our lives to wear us down to the point that we are forced to take a good, hard, long look at the things we're doing (or not doing) and know, beyond any doubt that we have to change?  Because we then know that there is no more justification or excuses or getting by with the status quo.  No - He has called us to something greater.  And He's patient, which means if we don't get it this time around, He'll give us another shot... 

Sometimes I just wish I could be like Jane Doe - simply flying under the radar and getting on with my life and hopes and dreams - the way I would have scripted things.  Living where I want to live, spending my days doing the work I want to do.  But, I'm keenly aware in the face of just about all that I'd planned being diverted and morphed into something unrecognizable and most definitely NOT what I would have chosen, that He knows better.

Just some things I'm pondering.  Please pray that I get it this time.  I'm ready to really get this now.