A Taste of Victory

What a difference a week makes.  What a difference some effort put into a difficult situation that has drawn on now for entirely too long makes.  What a difference a few victories that we've savored over the past several days has made in the life of our family. 

No, we haven't won the lottery or found the secret to world peace, but we have made some significant steps toward family peace and peace of mind.  Which is HUGE.

What, you ask, is the key to our recent victories?

While it may sound simple and like a no brainer to you, and not an entirely foreign concept to us (we've just not been practicing it lately), we've finally discovered that making a P-L-A-N to deal with some of our struggles goes a long way toward peace - even if the plan doesn't solve the problem immediately.

• Victory #1:  We've committed to 13 weeks in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, and we're making an intentional plan for our financial future (and present).  What a difference it makes for two married adults to actually take the time to sit down and talk with one another to figure out a budget for today, and our individual dreams for tomorrow.  While our financial situation isn't drastically different than it was before we created our budget, our hopes for the future, our perceptions of security, and our marriage are already reaping the benefits of our financial plan still under refinement.

• Victory #2: We've successfully eradicated the power struggles and yelling matches (no, I'm not proud of my behavior) that had everything to do with 'who left that mess on the kitchen floor', and 'how can you be so mean to your sister', and 'when will you clean your room (again!)'??  We've implemented an ingenious behavior/reward chart with our kids from a system I found called Accountable Kids.  

I mean, our girls are racing in the morning to take their showers, brush their teeth, make their beds, and eat breakfast before their tired parents even get out of bed!  YES, it's really that good!  What had been averaging something hideous like 4 or more hours of tv/computer/wii time per day (again, not proud of my behavior) has now been whittled down to less than 90 minutes (most days less than that), and I no longer have excessive amounts of guilt eating me alive while I try to work from home, watch after the kids, and otherwise run our household using tv as a babysitter.  In one fell swoop, we've finally found a way to teach our kids that their presence in our family is critically important to our family unit, they have responsibilities - just like mom and dad, and quality time is more important than anything else.  I could go on for several days... but I'll let you check out their system for yourself, if you haven't already found this nirvana in your own home.

• Victory #3: I've taken a hard look at my daily routine and work schedule and have realized that I cannot do all and be all that I want in the human form that I currently am.  My energy and time is finite, and limits have to be set.  I've begun setting them, restructuring my day, and giving myself permission to walk away from the unending work beckoning me from my computer screen for a bit to recharge.  What a concept!  As Steven Covey says about those who are highly successful, it's important to sharpen the saw.  Oh yeah, I forgot.  Too busy driving to stop and get gas...

• Victory #4:   I'm cooking for my family again, and doing so makes all of us healthier eaters and we're saving money at the grocery store.  (Yes, we've been eating all this time, but it's been more like me staring at whatever is left in our pantry/refrigerator and saying, "what do you guys want to eat tonight?")  It's really astonishing how much difference a meal plan, a shopping plan, and a daily dinner already planned out makes!  I found an incredibly helpful meal planning service called Relish! that I'm totally in love with, and while I've subscribed since August, I'm embarrassed to admit that I've not been terribly consistent with using it.  (It's not unlike that gym membership that I pay for, but...  Hey, I can't tackle everything all at once!)  Now that I am using it, I'm so much happier, and so is my husband.  :)

So, if I seem a little cheerier than normal, or less stressed out about the little things that go wrong (and do), you'll know that it's because I've seen some victories recently.  I've missed them for way too long.  And, they are so sweet.

What victories have you claimed lately?

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

Like Dori in _Finding Nemo_ I've recently found myself chanting, "just keep swimming" over and over and over and over...

It seems I've gone and done it again. I'm overwhelmed. My simple life of boredom and loneliness has morphed (at my own doing) into a chaotic and BUSY craziness. I don't know how it happened! (but, then, I really do)

I'm hopelessly Type A. I'm happiest doing and committing and otherwise occupying my time and energy to the point of exhaustion. I thought I had learned this lesson, when just over a year ago, I was stripped of all of my commitments and obligations in Colorado and whisked away to the solitude of the desert.

I spent, oh, about 30 seconds licking my wounds and realizing this was God's way of getting my attention and focusing it on Him. I figured out for that brief moment in time how important it is for me to be still. Then, I got moving (naturally)!

Why, oh why do I do this? Why is it so incredibly tempting for me to fill all of my time (and then some) with stuff? Don't get me wrong - ALL of my stuff is important stuff - there is nothing that I've picked up in the last 18 months that isn't valuable. It's just that, as I sit among the ruins that have become my days, where I am finding organization and efficiency completely elusive, that I realize that I'm going to have to put something down. The problem is, what?!?

I ran across a prayer list that I wrote 18 months ago - things I wanted to be sure to pray about regularly as we were undergoing a major life transition. Some of them, happily, have long since been answered. Some, not so much, but hope endures.

One, in particular, stood out for me today. Back then, I wanted to be sure to pray that I would not pick up anything that wasn't part of God's plan for my life. I wanted to have the lessons that were hard earned just a few weeks prior to leave an indelible impression on my memory - so much so that it would change my daily life.

How quickly we return to old ways. Like a familiar old t shirt, we are drawn to old habits and long to wrap ourselves up in them so we can be comfortable.

I wonder, though, what is it going to take to get my attention this time? Instead of finding out, I'd much rather admit my weakness now and choose for myself what it is that I'll put down.

What to choose? Guess I should get back to what I know is true and be still for a moment... Anyone else have as much trouble with that as I do?