Loneliness

Here, where I sit today, I'm a tad bit lonely. We are new to this city and although there are tons of families with young children here (I've seen them with my own eyes!), it does seem as though everyone is too busy to make new friends. They've already got some - as evidenced by the hugs and pocket conversations going on all around us - in church, at parks, in restaurants.

I look longingly at other groups of people who are so engrossed in catching up with one another and wish we could find some other families that are as lonely as we are to talk with, make playdates with, and otherwise get to know. (I am much more concerned about this than Kyle is, in the spirit of complete honesty!).

I don't know what I expected - maybe for a few women to simply appear in my path, you know, the kind who once you talk for a little while you feel like you've known them all your life? The kind who make you feel at home, and are easy to be around? The ones with kids around the same ages as mine, who might even be interested in a new running partner? Not that I've given it much thought, or anything! :) These women have proven elusive so far (although it's only been two weeks...).

In the meantime, yesterday I got a phone call from a friend back in Colorado checking in with me. We talked and I shared my heart with her. This morning brought an instant message conversation with another friend and a phone call from yet another. I told both of them, too, about my sorrow over not finding any women here to befriend. Then, I got an email from another wonderful woman just checking in with me to see how I am doing. Several others have been sending invitations for me to join their network on a popular social network site (which, until today, I've been trying to avoid for fear of being literally sucked into my computer).

Are you catching a theme here? It took me all morning to realize what is happening. I've been so caught up in my own private little pity party to get that God is showing me how there are plenty of lifelong friends in my life already. They just don't happen to be in the same city anymore, and may not look exactly like the specific expectations I had for them. They are there, and all this technology exits to make them readily available to me, to support me and encourage me - and for me to be all of that to them.

Which brings me to my second profound realization of the day... If I'm feeling this lonely and all it takes is for someone else to pick up the phone, send a quick email, shoot a brief IM, smile and strike up a conversation, what is preventing me from being that person? What is keeping me from being the one to get outside my comfort zone and take a risk with another woman here in my city? Pride, fear, whatever it is... It is a strong pull, but I can't be the only one who feels alone in a city of hundreds of thousands (many of whom are new to this area, too, by looking at the demographics).

I need to digest and accept that this may not just fall into place, it may actually take me doing some work to get to the place I want to be. sigh I'm going to make a pledge to reach out to one other person today. It may make all the difference for them - I know it would (and has) to me. What if we all did that? What if you did?