I'm ready for some change and my blog is a reflection of that, so... It's a work in progress. :)
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I'd LOVE to have you!! And, as always, thanks for reading as I ponder in the desert.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
A Pandemic
Kyle returned home at the end of last week after working in Phoenix and woke up the next morning with a full on case of the flu. Literally, one minute he was feeling fine, the next he was miserable. It was quite something to watch. And I was so thankful that I was the one watching it, not going through it.
He spent the next 72 hours in bed with a ridiculously high fever, and I felt compelled to wake up through the night to check on him and make sure he didn't need to go to the hospital or wasn't having seizures due to the fever. Luckily, he started to get better yesterday, and besides a fainting episode around midday (he was up and moving around, but had eaten very little for three days), he was apparently on the road to restored health.
Then, yesterday afternoon, I picked Bri up from school to find her with a fever and complaining of a headache. Here we go for round two...
Denali and I publicly proclaimed that we are the healthy two in our household, and the virus will not take us down. It won't.
Today, I'll spend a disproportionate amount of time doing load after load of laundry. If it's fabric and washable, it's getting thrown in. If only I could figure out a way to hose down the inside of the house without destroying much of it... Let me see, where's the clorox spray??
Saturday, October 10, 2009
What do we know of holy?
I was at a small group this week and getting to know some people here a little better and something struck me during a conversation with a woman and her husband. They are new to the church and are planning to be baptized soon, and we were talking about raising our kids in the faith and how hard that can be when we feel like we don't know it all or have it all together ourselves. And I wonder if I ever will have it all together.
There was no discussion about this, but my mind turned to the spiritual elitism that I've seen in the church that can easily pollute this young couple in the faith. They were talking about how it was intimidating to come to church for the first few times because they are so new to Christianity, and I was thinking about how it was intimidating to me because I was so new to the area. Different but the same - we were both being fed the same lie. I felt compelled to welcome these two children of God into the family, and assure them of their great worth - with or without all the knowledge they seek - they know Jesus and that is what is important to Him. Really, what else to do we need?
He speaks to each and every one of us individually - in a way that only speaks to us because He knows us inside and out. And He wants us to know and seek Him in the same way, with the same passion and intensity. When I think about that, I'm humbled to think that He cares that much about me - all my flaws and failures included. Like this couple, He loves me even though I don't know all the great Bible stories by heart and never went to VBS as a kid.
Later that day, I was driving and this song came on the radio by Addison Road. I've heard it at least four times since our meeting last week, and keep thinking about posting on this topic. I am finally getting it done. Enjoy the song and ask yourself, "what do you know of holy?"
There was no discussion about this, but my mind turned to the spiritual elitism that I've seen in the church that can easily pollute this young couple in the faith. They were talking about how it was intimidating to come to church for the first few times because they are so new to Christianity, and I was thinking about how it was intimidating to me because I was so new to the area. Different but the same - we were both being fed the same lie. I felt compelled to welcome these two children of God into the family, and assure them of their great worth - with or without all the knowledge they seek - they know Jesus and that is what is important to Him. Really, what else to do we need?
He speaks to each and every one of us individually - in a way that only speaks to us because He knows us inside and out. And He wants us to know and seek Him in the same way, with the same passion and intensity. When I think about that, I'm humbled to think that He cares that much about me - all my flaws and failures included. Like this couple, He loves me even though I don't know all the great Bible stories by heart and never went to VBS as a kid.
Later that day, I was driving and this song came on the radio by Addison Road. I've heard it at least four times since our meeting last week, and keep thinking about posting on this topic. I am finally getting it done. Enjoy the song and ask yourself, "what do you know of holy?"
Monday, October 5, 2009
The Harsh Truth
I love running to the music of Dave Matthew's Band - the lyrics are edgy and culturally relevant, and get me just angry enough to get through that last mile. This morning, when I broke my current running drought (my headaches are finally GONE!), I heard this song - "Mother, Father." It got me thinking about the state of our world today.
While I am living in my comfortable home and driving my comfortable car to get whatever I need from the store just around the corner, so many people in our world don't have clean water or a sense of safety right now. Yet, God created them just the same as He created me, and for some reason I don't understand, He placed me where He did, and them where they are. I found this video that puts it all into perspective. WARNING: it is graphic, but nothing photographed is fabricated - it all happened in real life.
After you watch this, you might walk away with a knot in your stomach, like I did. You might feel an overwhelming sense of sadness, or wish you hadn't had your good day interrupted by the tragedy you'll see, like I did. But, as the song says, "it's up to us to keep the flow," and we can't reflect the goodness and love of our Creator if we bury our heads in the sand. (and ignore the "think free" propaganda that ends the video, unless it encourages you to use your God given free will to enact some positive change)
While I am living in my comfortable home and driving my comfortable car to get whatever I need from the store just around the corner, so many people in our world don't have clean water or a sense of safety right now. Yet, God created them just the same as He created me, and for some reason I don't understand, He placed me where He did, and them where they are. I found this video that puts it all into perspective. WARNING: it is graphic, but nothing photographed is fabricated - it all happened in real life.
After you watch this, you might walk away with a knot in your stomach, like I did. You might feel an overwhelming sense of sadness, or wish you hadn't had your good day interrupted by the tragedy you'll see, like I did. But, as the song says, "it's up to us to keep the flow," and we can't reflect the goodness and love of our Creator if we bury our heads in the sand. (and ignore the "think free" propaganda that ends the video, unless it encourages you to use your God given free will to enact some positive change)
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Who turned off the heat?
So, the locals have been talking for some time about the day the weather "breaks." When this magical day arrives, literally, overnight it will go from triple digit temperatures (it's been around 100 degrees or more since we got here four months ago) to highs in the 70s.
On Tuesday the weather guy said that would be our last day of triple digits for the rest of 2009. I doubted it - I mean, the weather man in Colorado was never quite sure what would happen from one hour to the next, so how could one here predict for weeks and months to come? And, seriously, 100+ degree temps are all we've known now for the entire time we've been here.
As promised, the milestone for this year was apparently yesterday, when it only got up to something like 77 degrees - a full 30 degrees below "normal." Today, like yesterday, the high is only about 75 degrees or so, and I'm fishing out all my jeans and long sleeve shirts (I think I'm officially a desert wimp now). And, I'm stumped as I look outside and see that things are so drastically different from every other climate I've ever lived in (albeit a limited variety).
Let the record show that the locals must know what they're talking about, and Wednesday, Sept. 30 was the day they all celebrate as the beginning of our reward for surviving the summer in the desert.
Bizarre.
I wish I could shake the looming fear that soon it will be a snowy, icy, winter tundra like every other year when fall shows up.
On Tuesday the weather guy said that would be our last day of triple digits for the rest of 2009. I doubted it - I mean, the weather man in Colorado was never quite sure what would happen from one hour to the next, so how could one here predict for weeks and months to come? And, seriously, 100+ degree temps are all we've known now for the entire time we've been here.
As promised, the milestone for this year was apparently yesterday, when it only got up to something like 77 degrees - a full 30 degrees below "normal." Today, like yesterday, the high is only about 75 degrees or so, and I'm fishing out all my jeans and long sleeve shirts (I think I'm officially a desert wimp now). And, I'm stumped as I look outside and see that things are so drastically different from every other climate I've ever lived in (albeit a limited variety).
Let the record show that the locals must know what they're talking about, and Wednesday, Sept. 30 was the day they all celebrate as the beginning of our reward for surviving the summer in the desert.
Bizarre.
I wish I could shake the looming fear that soon it will be a snowy, icy, winter tundra like every other year when fall shows up.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Distractions and disconnection
I've been noticing lately a heightened sense of the disconnection that is all around me (and in me). Everywhere I go, I see people, but they don't seem to see me or anyone else. Everyone seems to be plugged in and tuned out.
What strikes me about this is not my own sense of loneliness in a town where there are few people who recognize me - instead, it's the irony of everyone's intense desire and innate drive to CONNECT and to BE CONNECTED that is ultimately rendering them completely disconnected... to everything and everyone.
I mean, at the park, it is rare for me to see a parent who is interacting with their child or another parent, but is instead engrossed in a cell phone conversation. The other day, while stopped at a red light, I saw several people crossing the street. One person was listening intently to her iPod, another concentrating on a text message, and yet another reading a book with earphones on. No one spoke to anyone else, and didn't even seem to see them.
What I'm noticing about this cultural phenomenon, that I know I'm certainly not the first to observe, is that, through the same disconnect I see all around me, I am setting a strong pattern in my own life. I'm just as guilty as the people I see every day. I carry my cell phone everywhere I go and can read emails, text messages, and surf the internet whenever I want. And, I do. ALOT.
Think about this. Have you ever been at a coffee shop, waiting for a friend, perhaps, when you felt uncomfortable by being alone, so you dove into your cell phone to appear connected? I'm guilty of this - and what it is really saying to people around me is "back off, I'm not interested." I put up my invisible bubble.
The other day, I was standing in line at a grocery store and found myself watching the woman who was ahead of me and checking out. She was on her cell phone, having a conversation with someone, while the cashier was doing her job and bagging her items. I noticed how uncomfortable the cashier seemed because when she told the woman her total, she didn't even acknowledge her and just continued talking while she swiped her credit card. The cashier just looked down and tried to stay busy with her bagging, and the woman just kept talking. The scene made me uncomfortable, and I felt compelled to make eye contact with the cashier as if to say to her, "I see you and appreciate what you're doing." I was offended by this woman's rude behavior and was quick to judge.
Then, I realized, I'm guilty of similar offenses all day long. I ignore my husband because I'm busy texting a friend. I absentmindedly respond to my daughter when she's asking me a question because I'm busy working on the computer. I don't strike up a conversation with the mom standing next to me at the end of the school day as we wait for our children. I'm disconnected, yet long for just the opposite.
Recently, I read an article written by a man who was trying an experiment to stop multitasking. If he was in the shower, no radio. If he was having breakfast, no newspaper or tv. If he was writing, no checking emails. If he was playing with his son, no phone call interruptions, music in the background, or conversations with any other family members. He actually had to retrain himself by speaking aloud what it was he was doing so that his mind didn't wander onto another task or topic. It may sound a little over the top, but he was having to take drastic measures to unlearn so many habits he'd created. What he discovered was that it isn't true that the more we get done at once (multitask), the more productive we are. Instead, we get less done and do it less well. And, we overwhelm ourselves (stress!) and rob the people in our lives of our full attention and presence.
Multitasking is a socially acceptable way to keep yourself distracted and disconnected. And, for me, it has become an excuse to stay disconnected to avoid the emotional risk relationships can carry. So, it seems I've created an impossible situation - I'm lonely, but, when I really examine my behavior, I can see that I've worked quite hard to keep myself that way. How does that make sense?!?
Have you bought this popular lie, too? I have, and I need to return it for a full refund.
What strikes me about this is not my own sense of loneliness in a town where there are few people who recognize me - instead, it's the irony of everyone's intense desire and innate drive to CONNECT and to BE CONNECTED that is ultimately rendering them completely disconnected... to everything and everyone.
I mean, at the park, it is rare for me to see a parent who is interacting with their child or another parent, but is instead engrossed in a cell phone conversation. The other day, while stopped at a red light, I saw several people crossing the street. One person was listening intently to her iPod, another concentrating on a text message, and yet another reading a book with earphones on. No one spoke to anyone else, and didn't even seem to see them.
What I'm noticing about this cultural phenomenon, that I know I'm certainly not the first to observe, is that, through the same disconnect I see all around me, I am setting a strong pattern in my own life. I'm just as guilty as the people I see every day. I carry my cell phone everywhere I go and can read emails, text messages, and surf the internet whenever I want. And, I do. ALOT.
Think about this. Have you ever been at a coffee shop, waiting for a friend, perhaps, when you felt uncomfortable by being alone, so you dove into your cell phone to appear connected? I'm guilty of this - and what it is really saying to people around me is "back off, I'm not interested." I put up my invisible bubble.
The other day, I was standing in line at a grocery store and found myself watching the woman who was ahead of me and checking out. She was on her cell phone, having a conversation with someone, while the cashier was doing her job and bagging her items. I noticed how uncomfortable the cashier seemed because when she told the woman her total, she didn't even acknowledge her and just continued talking while she swiped her credit card. The cashier just looked down and tried to stay busy with her bagging, and the woman just kept talking. The scene made me uncomfortable, and I felt compelled to make eye contact with the cashier as if to say to her, "I see you and appreciate what you're doing." I was offended by this woman's rude behavior and was quick to judge.
Then, I realized, I'm guilty of similar offenses all day long. I ignore my husband because I'm busy texting a friend. I absentmindedly respond to my daughter when she's asking me a question because I'm busy working on the computer. I don't strike up a conversation with the mom standing next to me at the end of the school day as we wait for our children. I'm disconnected, yet long for just the opposite.
Recently, I read an article written by a man who was trying an experiment to stop multitasking. If he was in the shower, no radio. If he was having breakfast, no newspaper or tv. If he was writing, no checking emails. If he was playing with his son, no phone call interruptions, music in the background, or conversations with any other family members. He actually had to retrain himself by speaking aloud what it was he was doing so that his mind didn't wander onto another task or topic. It may sound a little over the top, but he was having to take drastic measures to unlearn so many habits he'd created. What he discovered was that it isn't true that the more we get done at once (multitask), the more productive we are. Instead, we get less done and do it less well. And, we overwhelm ourselves (stress!) and rob the people in our lives of our full attention and presence.
Multitasking is a socially acceptable way to keep yourself distracted and disconnected. And, for me, it has become an excuse to stay disconnected to avoid the emotional risk relationships can carry. So, it seems I've created an impossible situation - I'm lonely, but, when I really examine my behavior, I can see that I've worked quite hard to keep myself that way. How does that make sense?!?
Have you bought this popular lie, too? I have, and I need to return it for a full refund.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
If any gift escapes this life untested, it will certainly not be our faith
I was reading this today from Streams in The Desert, and I wanted to share it (actually, I felt compelled to). If you, like me, are feeling lonely, or stripped from earthly pleasures that you used to enjoy, hopefully this speaks peace and strength into your spirit.
"Our faith is the center of the target God aims at when He tests us, and if any gift escapes untested, it certainly will not be our faith. There is nothing that pierces faith to its very marrow - to find whether or not it is the faith of those who are immortal - like shooting the arrow of the feeling of being deserted into it. And only genuine faith will escape unharmed from the midst of the battle after having been stripped of its armor of earthly enjoyment and after having endured the circumstances coming against it that the powerful hand of God has allowed.
Faith must be tested, and the sense of feeling deserted is "the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual" (Daniel 3:19) into which it may be thrown. Blessed is the person who endures such an ordeal!" ~Charles H. Spurgeon (emphasis mine)
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Wisdom from a fellow blogger and friend
So, I've been remiss lately and not too attentive to this blog. I've tried to come up with the time and energy and creativity it takes to write the "perfect blog post," but keep coming up short and finding other things that demand my immediate attention. It has become easier to rationalize that I'll get to it soon/later, and things will certainly slow down soon so I can refocus my efforts.
I have little doubt that this drought of creative writing and reflection will give way to new posts that will reflect the daily ins and outs of life in the desert. But, for the time being, I'm simply surviving - some days are infinitely better than others, and life goes on.
While I wait on inspiration for the next words I will share with you and record for myself, I read a post from a fellow blogger and friend, who said both what I needed to hear and what I need to say. Since she wrote so eloquently and captured just the season I find myself in at this very moment, I am simply going to direct you to her post, rather than rewrite what she already did so beautifully and truthfully.
I hope this gives you a glimpse into what I, too, am currently going through as I struggle to find balance and not let a good thing become a bad one.
Still pondering... Keep checking back - I'll find my muse and my balance soon. Thanks for reading.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Celebrating 8 Years with Aubrielle!
Here are some highlights from last weekend's celebration of Aubrielle's Birthday. Enjoy!
And, please excuse the off key singing!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Top 10 Things I'm Thankful For Today
An attitude of gratitude is an important one to have, and in an effort to hone mine, here are my top 10 things I'm thankful for today:
10) Another sunny, hot day in the desert where I can admire palm trees and beautiful rock formations not too far from our home.
9) A fixed bike trailer so that I can take the kids to school on my bike with Denali in tow and Aubrielle on her bike. (Thanks, to my wonderful hubby!)
8) A beautiful (and somewhat shady) greenbelt path to ride traffic free all the way to school
7) Sleeping through the night last night with no headache to wake me up
6) Knowing that I have lifelong, deep friendships - even if those friends don't live where I do
5) Plans for the weekend to celebrate Aubrielle's 8th birthday - and all the years we've had with her as part of our family.
4) New workout shorts and shirts that I found at Target yesterday on clearance - so cheap AND cute!
3) Being reminded yesterday that I am not walking in the sand of the desert all by myself.
2) Finishing all of my blog writing (for work) before 8 am this morning! My weekend has already begun.
1) A sense of peace that all will eventually work out the way it needs to, and there are good things still to come.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Persist
I got a phone call from a dear friend this morning because she sensed that I needed to talk. She called me despite being in a very trying situation herself, but she wasn't focused on herself. She was focused on me and how I was doing, and I was touched and humbled. We spent some time talking about our circumstances, how they are the same, yet different. She told me about how God has made Himself very real to her in her own struggles lately and how He appears on the faces of people in her life. Now she is actively looking for Him in faces all around her, and she's finding Him.
If I pay attention, I can see Him, too. I saw Him last night in my 8 year old, who, for no apparent reason, suddenly came over to me and gave me a big hug. I saw Him in my friend who called today out of the blue. I saw Him in the very kind girl behind the counter at Fuddrucker's (where Denali and I had lunch) when she offered me Denali's lunch for free because of some promotion they are starting this evening (well after lunch is over). And, when I was driving around this afternoon, running some errands, I saw Him in a license plate. I quickly snapped a picture of it when we were stopped at a light.
I'm going to persist. I have it on very good authority that it will all be worth it someday.
Friday, August 21, 2009
What have I been up to??
First, I need to apologize for my lack of blogging this month, and part of last. This headache and the ensuing drama it has caused has left much of my "normal" life in its wake. Still working on that.
Secondly, my free time and creative juices have been poured lately into a new adventure I'm pursuing with a company that I worked for 3 years ago. I love this company, called Lifebushido, because the president and founder has big ideas and it is poised to revolutionize the work at home field by honing in on people, like me, who have chosen to stay home with kiddos, but still want to earn some extra income with very part time work.
Anyway, I've been blessed with the opportunity to take over blogging for one of this company's blogs, and a couple of other blogging assignments related to the virtual assistant services we offer. I thought I'd direct you all to the work I've been doing for Lifebushido, because, if I do say so myself, I think the content is pretty good and applies to everyone, whether they're in the business field or the CEO of their home.
Let me know what you think! And sign up to be a follower over at the Lifebushido blog, if you want, too! :)
Monday, August 10, 2009
Denali's 4th Birthday recap
For those (actually, for all of you!) who weren't here
to celebrate Denali's birthday with us, here's a snapshot of the day!
Enjoy! :)
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Celebrating Today!
Today my baby girl turns 4! I cannot believe just how fast this time has gone. Denali has brought so much laughter and joy into our house, and we are so blessed to have her in our family. Enjoy these great photos from these last four years with Denali!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
An update, and some things I'm learning
So, turns out that I spoke a bit too soon almost two weeks ago when I proclaimed that my pain was a thing of the past. It did improve briefly, then took a sharp turn for the worse - which explains my lack of blogging all this time. I've had a couple of horrific days of intense pain that has been difficult to get on top of. Those days were followed by the past two days of waking up pain free (and in disbelief!) then settling into a very minor version of the pain I've experienced. I don't know if I'm out of the woods, or if there will be more downswings, but I'll take any improvement! Anyway, that is the short update.
I was reading in my devotional, _Streams in the Desert_ a couple of days ago, and this poem struck a chord - it's about the things we leave undone. I thought I'd share and hope it brings you some things to ponder, too.
It isn't the things you do, dear,
It's the things you leave undone,
That gives you the bitter heartache
At the setting of the sun;
The tender word unspoken,
The letter you did not write,
The flower you might have sent, dear,
Are your haunting ghosts at night.
The stone you might have lifted,
Out of your brother's way,
The bit of heartfelt counsel
You were hurried too much to say;
The loving touch of the hand, dear,
The gentle and winsome tone,
That you had no time or thought for,
With troubles enough of your own.
These little acts of kindness,
So easily out of mind,
These chances to be angels,
Which even mortals find -
They come in nights of silence,
To take away the grief,
When hope is faint and feeble,
And a drought has stopped belief.
For life is all too short, dear,
And sorrow is all too great,
To allow our slow compassion,
That tarries until too late.
And it's not the thing you do, dear,
It's the thing you leave undone,
That gives you the bitter heartache,
At the setting of the sun.
~ Adelaide Proctor
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