Persist

So, after what has been a VERY trying last several weeks, I have found myself (once again!) stuck. Stuck pitying myself and my situation, stuck wishing for something that I cannot have, stuck asking God "why me?" at every turn.

I got a phone call from a dear friend this morning because she sensed that I needed to talk. She called me despite being in a very trying situation herself, but she wasn't focused on herself. She was focused on me and how I was doing, and I was touched and humbled. We spent some time talking about our circumstances, how they are the same, yet different. She told me about how God has made Himself very real to her in her own struggles lately and how He appears on the faces of people in her life. Now she is actively looking for Him in faces all around her, and she's finding Him.

If I pay attention, I can see Him, too. I saw Him last night in my 8 year old, who, for no apparent reason, suddenly came over to me and gave me a big hug. I saw Him in my friend who called today out of the blue. I saw Him in the very kind girl behind the counter at Fuddrucker's (where Denali and I had lunch) when she offered me Denali's lunch for free because of some promotion they are starting this evening (well after lunch is over). And, when I was driving around this afternoon, running some errands, I saw Him in a license plate. I quickly snapped a picture of it when we were stopped at a light.

I'm going to persist. I have it on very good authority that it will all be worth it someday.

What have I been up to??

First, I need to apologize for my lack of blogging this month, and part of last. This headache and the ensuing drama it has caused has left much of my "normal" life in its wake. Still working on that.

Secondly, my free time and creative juices have been poured lately into a new adventure I'm pursuing with a company that I worked for 3 years ago. I love this company, called Lifebushido, because the president and founder has big ideas and it is poised to revolutionize the work at home field by honing in on people, like me, who have chosen to stay home with kiddos, but still want to earn some extra income with very part time work.

Anyway, I've been blessed with the opportunity to take over blogging for one of this company's blogs, and a couple of other blogging assignments related to the virtual assistant services we offer. I thought I'd direct you all to the work I've been doing for Lifebushido, because, if I do say so myself, I think the content is pretty good and applies to everyone, whether they're in the business field or the CEO of their home.

Let me know what you think! And sign up to be a follower over at the Lifebushido blog, if you want, too! :)

Denali's 4th Birthday recap

For those (actually, for all of you!) who weren't here

to celebrate Denali's birthday with us, here's a snapshot of the day!

Enjoy! :)

Celebrating Today!

Today my baby girl turns 4! I cannot believe just how fast this time has gone. Denali has brought so much laughter and joy into our house, and we are so blessed to have her in our family. Enjoy these great photos from these last four years with Denali!

An update, and some things I'm learning

So, turns out that I spoke a bit too soon almost two weeks ago when I proclaimed that my pain was a thing of the past. It did improve briefly, then took a sharp turn for the worse - which explains my lack of blogging all this time. I've had a couple of horrific days of intense pain that has been difficult to get on top of. Those days were followed by the past two days of waking up pain free (and in disbelief!) then settling into a very minor version of the pain I've experienced. I don't know if I'm out of the woods, or if there will be more downswings, but I'll take any improvement! Anyway, that is the short update.

I was reading in my devotional, _Streams in the Desert_ a couple of days ago, and this poem struck a chord - it's about the things we leave undone. I thought I'd share and hope it brings you some things to ponder, too.

It isn't the things you do, dear,

It's the things you leave undone,

That gives you the bitter heartache

At the setting of the sun;

The tender word unspoken,

The letter you did not write,

The flower you might have sent, dear,

Are your haunting ghosts at night.

The stone you might have lifted,

Out of your brother's way,

The bit of heartfelt counsel

You were hurried too much to say;

The loving touch of the hand, dear,

The gentle and winsome tone,

That you had no time or thought for,

With troubles enough of your own.

These little acts of kindness,

So easily out of mind,

These chances to be angels,

Which even mortals find -

They come in nights of silence,

To take away the grief,

When hope is faint and feeble,

And a drought has stopped belief.

For life is all too short, dear,

And sorrow is all too great,

To allow our slow compassion,

That tarries until too late.

And it's not the thing you do, dear,

It's the thing you leave undone,

That gives you the bitter heartache,

At the setting of the sun.

~ Adelaide Proctor

Bright, Sunshiny Day

What a relief! After 8 (count them) days of pain, the clouds have lifted, and I am mostly pain free (save a little tiny bit of residual headache, but that's nothing)! The migraine has departed! This video is representative of how I'm feeling this most excellent day. :) Enjoy!

Not today, I have a headache!

So, the past seven days I've had a low grade, but nagging and completely annoying headache. I wake up with it, carry it around all day long, and go to bed exhausted from it. At first, I thought maybe it was that I slept wrong, as my neck is often sore when I wake up. Then, I wondered if it was due to dehydration, as I'm not really very good at keeping up with the right amount of water intake, especially in the intense heat of the desert. So, I've been drinking A LOT of water.

I wish I could report that helped. Not so much.

Yesterday, I booked a massage because I then hypothesized that maybe it is due to muscle tension that I can feel in my back, neck, and shoulders (darn stress!). The masseuse hit every pressure point in my body and I'm sore today from the rub down, which did help my muscle tension. But, I woke up today, again, with the same piercing headache that has gripped the left side of my scalp and won't let go!

I did some research on the Internet (what better way to receive trustworthy, comprehensive medical treatment?!?), and have deduced that what I'm dealing with is a chronic daily migraine, although, technically, I can't be diagnosed with that by a real doctor until it takes 15 days from me out of the month. Only 8 days to go, I guess... sigh

Anyone else have any brilliant suggestions for ways I can eradicate the pain?!? I'm starting to get desperate. I know I can't be the only one who's suffered with this!

The upshot is, when I do find relief, I will be so thankful for being pain free - something I take for granted every day. Until now...

We're still newbies

So, you know that you've been away from Colorado too long, and don't quite fit in the desert yet with the scenario we experienced last night.

It rained. I mean more than you see rain clouds and think you might possibly have felt a drop or two before the rain cloud dried up and vanished before your eyes (often it will rain, but the moisture never makes it to the earth - it's too hot and dry).

No, this time it actually rained - the concrete patio in the back yard got wet with rain drops - we could feel it.

So, what did we newbies do? We called the children out (they must have thought there was some exotic wildlife or something else amazing to see, and they came running), and we all sat in our patio chairs in the rain. It was God's little spray park and we were game. It only lasted for about five minutes, but the novelty of it was glorious.

I'm almost embarrassed to admit it. But, in the spirit of complete honesty...

Taking an inventory

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about lessons learned. Specifically, what I have learned about myself and who I am over the past decade. Here are a few thoughts written out, so I don't forget.

1. I procrastinate. Especially when it's a task I don't particularly like or feel forced into completing.
2. I love being a bit off center, and things that are just slightly unlike everything else.
3. I am not a naturally organized person, but THRIVE when I take the time to get organized (see #1)
4. Who knew I was a morning person? Don't love the getting up part, but really enjoy early mornings when I'm the only one up. I get so much done - it's my best time of the day
5. I like to be challenged intellectually and I really love to make connections between philosophical ideas and real life.
6. I am sorta creative, not totally - I love to work from templates (in just about everything!) - I guess I'm not a trail blazer without some kind of example to follow.
7. I have to work really, really hard at not putting myself first - this is a daily battle and one that I think I'll fight all of my life. I'm naturally pretty selfish.
8. I have a hard time respecting myself (and anyone else) when I allow life to just happen to me, and not take some ownership and ACTION. I'm finding that there is a balance to be struck here - as I am not in control, either.
9. While I have made all kinds of proclamations and sworn all sorts of vows to never be dependent upon anyone else, I'm totally and hopelessly dependent upon my spouse. And, I still try to pretend that I'm not.
10. I do so much better when I set goals and write them down so I can read them regularly and stay on course.
11. I tend to set standards for myself that are ridiculously high and impossible to attain, then beat myself up for not being perfect - and I have to be careful to not do that with others, especially my children.
12. When I don't know how to do something, no matter what it is, I figure I can read a book or look it up online to figure it out. This is how I learned how to lay tile, parent, build Web sites, train for triathlons, program our universal remote, etc. etc.
13. Time management is a struggle for me when I don't set my schedule in advance. I believe the phrase, "if you're failing to plan, you're planning to fail" is especially true for me (see #1).
14. When I decide I want to achieve something, I almost always do. Eventually.

What have you learned about yourself, and what are you still discovering?

10 Things I'm Thankful For Today

Here's today's list:

10) Grocery shopping and meal planning is done for the week! Hooray!

9) The girls are playing the next room (and not fighting), giving me some down time for the computer

8) Friends who keep checking in on me, even though I'm absent from Colorado, where they are

7) The precious gift of good health

6) Being reminded that, in the face of fresh grief that my friend is facing after her father passed away today, we have something to hope for when this life is over

5) Ice cold water

4) Opportunities that have been handed to us over the past 9 months, this past month, in particular, that we never could have expected

3) Feeling optimistic and hopeful for the future

2) Sticky notes and their ability to help me get organized

1) Fresh basil that is growing in my container garden and tastes amazing!

For the birds

So, we're driving in the car yesterday, headed to the grocery store and from the backseat we hear, "I'll bet the birds here fly south for the summer!" Aubrielle was musing on the intense heat (it was 108 yesterday). Her father said, "you mean they fly north for the summer?" and Bri said, "yeah, I bet they don't stay here!"

Maybe you had to be there, but it was such a funny, yet thoughtful thing for a seven year old to blurt out at random.

I hear that it is worse in the deep south with the humidity and high heat, but it is sure hard to imagine hotter than this! I'm thankful daily for swimming pools, misting systems, and spray parks!

Bump in the road

You know how you have times in your life when you're just sailing along, things are going well - better than you'd expected, and you're pretty content. You may even comment to yourself, like I did a few days ago, "how nice is it that things are going so well with (fill in your own blank here), it's been weeks since there's been any trouble in this area."

Sure enough, that's when the trouble inevitably starts, like it did for me yesterday. I've hit a bump in the road and have to change course (yet again). Sigh. This life thing is a challenge...

Gross!

Did you know that we (yes, this includes you) swallow a quart of mucus every day? Learned that little gem at the Grossology exhibit today. Thought I'd share. :) Try working that into a conversation!!

Writer's block and some pics

So, I'm facing a bit of a writer's block here... Which explains my lack of posting lately - I'm just stumped on what to ponder next! We're headed to the Grossology exhibit at a local children's museum this afternoon, maybe that will stir up some thoughts I can share.

I'll leave you with some pics of the 4th of July holiday - in the morning, we went to a parade in our neighborhood, and had to leave early because we were so hot (it was over 100 by 11 am).

We had lots of family here, and got all the cousins' kids together, which was fun. That evening, our neighbors invited us over for a big fireworks show they explained that they do every year, but with all the family here, we politely declined. Then, when they began their show, the kids started asking to be lifted up so they could see over the fence.

Turns out, we were those neighbors, who turned down an invitation, then ended up gawking over the fence. Hopefully they weren't too offended!

10 Things I'm Thankful For Today

I've been remiss lately in recording the things I'm thankful for, so here goes:

10) The sunshine and thorough warmth that we feel whenever we're outside (and today it's only in the low 90s!!)

9) Our favorite spray park with an attached play area that is under a canopy to protect the kids from the heat (and where we spent a good portion of this morning!)

8) Time with family from out of town (my mom is here this week, my aunt and cousins will be here tomorrow)

7) Cell phones that allow me to keep in touch with good friends no matter where either of us is

6) Good, soul nourishing music (Go Fish!) that my oldest daughter is blasting in the next room as I write

5) Homemade ice cream that we're going to make this afternoon (yum!)

4) The way food always tastes so much better when you pack it up for a picnic

3) My husband, who works very hard to show me that he loves me, and recently has been bringing me bouquets of flowers every Friday (even though I love him whether he does this or not!)

2) My youngest daughter who closes her eyes and relishes whenever I give her a hug or kiss, then responds by giving me an eskimo kiss (it's our little thing)

1) The feeling that right now, at this moment, I'm on the path I am supposed to be on, and it's OK that I don't know just where it leads