The Christmas "Season"

Christmas stresses me out.

I know I'm not the only one, and, honestly, I know that right now, from where I sit, things are pretty darn good and that isn't the case for everyone.  Too, I know all the reasons why this "season" causes me to focus so much on things instead of the real reason, the birth of Christ.

The problem is, knowing all of this doesn't keep me from falling into the stress trap this time of year.  There are a ton of things to get done.  Presents to buy, trees to decorate, lights to hang, cookies to bake, cards to address, carols to sing, etc, etc.


Don't get me wrong, I love our family traditions - that is why we continue them.  I'm an absolute fan of this Christian holiday during which we, as believers, publicly pronounce our faith (even though many work to mold it into a commercialized mess) and are tangibly reminded of the fact that our God came to earth to teach us, and serve us, and sacrifice all for us.  I just wish my personal experience of this "season" wasn't so busy that I often miss the most important parts.


I was listening to the radio today in the car, and _The Little Drummer Boy_ came on.  Shortly before that, a song by Amy Grant titled _Silent Night_ (not the one you're thinking of) was played, and the lyrics spoke of the busyness of the Christmas "season," and the singer's pleas for a truly silent night amidst the craziness of shopping for gifts and holiday parties.  Later, the disc jockey came on and invited the listeners to tell their friends about that radio station and how it played Christmas songs with "real meaning."

That got me thinking.  I thought about how wonderful it would be (and stress relieving) to not feel so obligated this time of year to buy and do.  How, that night, when our King was born, a little boy's gift of music was appropriate, and even valued.  How we create such a burden on our time and financial resources this time of year to show appreciation for those in our lives within a small window of time.

What would it be like if we all took time to truly appreciate those around us all year long and didn't need to do so just in this "season?"  What if we showed our appreciation in the currency of our choice - one that we could, beyond any doubt, afford?  Would we then be freed up to be still in the moment, reflecting upon the meaning of a God child and how that would forever change our world?

I don't know.  I'm very aware of just how much I, in my humanness and uncanny ability to get distracted by the tiniest of things, need an annual reminder of Christ's birth and all the relationships in my life that I appreciate.  Otherwise, I suspect that due to sheer distraction, years might go by before I would find myself reflecting upon all things Christmas that matter.

I suppose the trick, for me, is to avoid the common pitfalls that come with what is a worldly, highly commercialized and often exploited holiday, and express my faith and the overflowing love that it produces to those around me in a way that is uniquely mine.

I suppose that is really the challenge to all of us.

Just some thoughts I'm pondering this month.

Seriously?? The Things Parents Say... Part 2

So, I might have spoken too soon with the submission of my last post.  Believe it or not, I have been collecting these parental comments for some time now, waiting until I had most of them before writing my dissertation rant to the blogosphere.  Silly me, thinking I had said them all.

Alas, literally moments after posting part one, I emerged from my office to find that my youngest had some artistic inspiration of her own that she couldn't contain in her imagination alone.

Done in blue ink, here are Denali's artistic additions to our couch, bathroom sink, and ottoman. These are the three largest, thus they would show up best in a photo for the blog, but rest assured that there were other spots where our budding illustrator chose to leave her mark (my comforter, her walls, some random boxes that are still sitting around the house unpacked).

So, I add to my collection of parental comments one never thought they'd have to say outloud: "There is no drawing on the furniture!"  Which reminds me, I forgot to add "It's not OK to flush mommy's wedding ring down the toilet."

Seriously?? The Things Parents Say...

This is a shout out to the parents who read my blog (and an attempt to make myself feel better for the experiences I go through daily).  I just have one question for all of us.  What is up with the things we have to say to our kids that A) we never thought we'd hear coming out of our mouths until it flies out of our lips, and B) we never thought would be necessary to actually have to say???

You know how some things sound so ridiculous, like they should be common sense and no one should ever have to be told?  We have some laws like that, there are policies in every organization like that, and I'm beginning to think that the complete disregard for common sense must stem from when we're children.

Obviously, rules have to be made because somewhere, at some point in time, someone actually committed an act so shockingly ridiculous that the rest of us needed to be told it isn't allowed.  

Here's a sampling of "parental comments" that I've said at one time or another over the past 8 years (and counting...):

• Don't lick the table!
• Why is there poop on the wall?
• Don't chew your shirt.
  
• We are not taking a worm home for a pet.
• Leave the cat alone - it's not ok to pull her tail.
• There's no dancing in the wine dept. at the grocery store.
• Leave the cat alone - she does not like baths in the sink.
• It's not ok to suck water out of a wet towel because you're thirsty.
• Don't chew the pencil eraser, or the metal that connects it to the pencil, or the pencil, or the pen.
• Put the dishes in the dishwasher (no, that's not my job).
• Leave the cat alone - it's not ok to shut her in your room all day long.
• Take your hair out of your mouth.
• The couch is for sitting, not jumping.
• This is a restaurant, not a jungle gym.
• Don't chew on your toenails.
• Please shut the door when you use the bathroom (regardless of where we are).
• If it's not food, drink, or a toothbrush, it doesn't belong in your mouth.
• LEAVE THE CAT ALONE!!!!

Whew.  I know it must sound like I spend all day correcting my kids from their feral behaviors, and that's because I do.  It just seems like sometimes some of these things should go without saying.  Doesn't it??  I guess, I'll just keep saying them...

Lost In Translation

Here's part of yesterday's conversation coming from the backseat as we waited for her 

big sister to get out of school...

Denali: "Mom, what are the bumpy things behind your ears?  Your whackers? 

What did you say that was again?"
 

Me: "Denali, I'm not sure what you're talking about."
 

Denali (frustrated): "You know, the whackers!!!"
 

Me (after much confusion and deep thought) : "Do you mean wax?  Ear wax?"
 

Denali (laughing): "Oohhh!  Wax!"
 

...It must be tough trying to learn language and all about the world at the same time!! 

And, yes, I'm still confused about the"bumpy things behind your ears" 

- maybe she needs a bath... 

Breakin the Rules

Sometimes you just have to break the rules. 

You know those days when what you had planned isn't exactly what you wanted to do with your precious little time?  Or, more accurately, when what you had planned was just exactly opposite what you wanted to do?  In fact, have you ever felt like going through with what you had planned would cause unnecessary stress, hardship, pain, and suffering??

Well, today was one of those days for me.  What I had planned was to meet my trainer for the last of our appointments at the gym.  What I REALLY wanted to do was anything but meet my trainer at the gym.  Seriously. 

Root canal?  Ok! 

Change a friend's kid's blown out diaper?  Sign me up! 

Just don't make me endure one more session of weight lifting with the trainer who will not listen to me now matter how much I tell her I loathe that particular form of exercise!! 

I mean, I'm not afraid to sweat.  I LOVE spinning, swimming endless laps in a pool, and running triathlons.  I'm no stranger to the gym, and under any other circumstances I doubt I'd be so adamant.  What is it about this trainer that makes me long to crawl under a rock and hide?  What is it about lifting weights that makes me wish I could go poke pins in my eyes instead??  Why, when I volunteered for this, am I IM'ing a friend with less than 13 minutes before my appt. so she could make me feel better about the way I was feeling? (Thanks, Sunny, for your unwavering support!)

Anyway, so what I had planned today was just SO not what I wanted to do.  So, I didn't.  Instead, Denali and I went to In n Out Burger and the park for lunch.

I hope the guilt doesn't eat me alive...

Be Still

I've been noticing lately an increasing stirring in me that is becoming more and more difficult to ignore.  This stirring is my need to do, to be more, to strive for something higher. 

This innate desire of mine that I've seen throughout my life is not necessarily a bad quality - it has caused me to push myself further than I thought I could go (as an athlete, as a mother, as a human being).  The problem with it is tricky, though. 

It often begs me to compare myself to others, which inevitably leads to my feeling inadequate - unfocused.  It's a distraction, and not always a good thing.

I write all this because in this moment, I've noticed a longing for something...  I don't know what.  Just something else.  A new job...no job... another baby... a vacation... rearranged furniture... fill in the blank.  I'm all over the place and I seem to have lost focus.  Now the big move is complete, and there is no big project for me to spend my energy on.  I find simply being and savoring the moment unnaturally uncomfortable.  What is that?

"Be still and know that I am God" (psalm 46:10)  has always been a verse I've been drawn to.  I have a sneaking suspicion that maybe it is because being still doesn't speak to my gifts.  But, I've always wished for the ability to simply hand all my worries and cares over to my God, and let Him be in charge.  Since He is anyway.

So, as painful as it is, I'm going to force myself to take no action.  I'm going to resist the unbearable temptation to find a volunteer  position or a paid position or some other distracting position to swallow up all my time.  I'm going to just be still and wait for inspiration. 



In the meantime, I love this song and am amazed as I ponder all of God's creation pictured in this video.  I hope it inspires you, too, and helps you to be still, if, like me, that is what you need.

Freak of Nature

Why does my body have to fight me so?  I've started going to the gym regularly (I've written about this before), I'm working with a trainer at the gym who's having me lift weights (which I HATE to do), and I've been careful about not adding calories to my days even though my increased activity screams for them.

All of that effort, and it never fails that once a week or two go by with regular exercise, I GAIN WEIGHT!!  huh?  Isn't it supposed to work the other way around? 

Throughout my adult life, whenever I go through an activity lull, I ALWAYS lose weight.  When I was training for triathlons, working out like two hours every day, I kept waiting for the weight to melt off.  But, no - I actually maintained or even gained a few pounds during that year of intensity.  This last summer, with all of the craziness of moving, the intensity of the heat, and my two month long headache, I was not exercising much at all.  Yep, I lost about five pounds.  ??

I mean, where's my built in incentive to keep trudging away on the treadmill and meeting that lady who makes me try out all the stupid nautilus machines at the gym??  I've lost my CO running buddies, so now I don't even have their great conversation to prompt me to keep moving. 

All I have now is a higher number on the scale.  Yipee.  Oh, and I suppose the knowledge that I'm taking good care of my health...

(And, if you're tempted to comment about how muscle weighs more than fat, or anything about how it's not the scale that is the measure of good health - tell that to the trainer who, after weighing me, told me that I'm "overfat".  I'm only slightly bitter about that still.)

sigh

The valleys

I have this great calendar (from The Purpose Driven Life) hanging on my kitchen wall, and every month there is a new inspirational saying to focus on for the next 30 ish days.  As soon as I turned the page on my calendar this month, I knew I'd be blogging about November's saying.  It is timely for me personally, and I hope it inspires you, too.

"God wants to BUILD our faith in the valleys. We love the mountaintops... but we build faith in the valleys. When we come face to face with a dark valley, we get on our knees."

Remembering today

Today marks one year since we lost our third baby to miscarriage. Throughout the time since this unspeakable tragedy in our lives, I've been amazed at the number of women I've met who have suffered this silent grief - and blessed by their strength and support, and that of all of my wonderful friends. Thank you, to all of you who've been my rock and soft place in the tough times.

Like all grief, it is a process, and healing is happening. I found this song, and it really speaks what's in my heart - for my own lost baby, and for all of us who have been through the pain of losing a child before they were born. I know one day I'll meet our little one, when I go home. For now, I'll have to be content to know the perfect arms of our Saviour hold our baby, until we can.

Random Acts of Kindness

So, I love to watch the Food Network, and this weekend Ina (of the show _Barefoot Contessa_) was testing a recipe, but was at home alone and would not be able to eat the whole meal, so instead, she called a friend to ask if she could use a cooked three course dinner for her family that evening. Her friend was surprised and very pleased (who wouldn't be?!?), and I was struck at just how out of the ordinary it is that something like that happens to us in our daily lives. (Yes, I know this was likely staged for the sake of the show, but stay with me, here.)

Inspiration struck me yesterday morning in the Starbucks drive-through and I spent the rest of the day thinking about it. What if we all practiced random acts of kindness - maybe just commit to one each day - what kind of impact would that make?

You know how it makes you feel when you do something unexpected and thoughtful for another person, expecting nothing in return? At least for me, it is a feeling not replicated by anything else in life. But, somehow, in the busyness of life, I often overlook the opportunities all around me to make someone's day.

A few days ago, this news story played on our local station, and it struck me, too.



This lady went to great lengths to find the owner of this camera, and did it all not expecting anything in return, much less news coverage.

Won't you join me in "paying it forward"? As we head into the Thanksgiving holiday, I'm going to take time each day to make someone's day (preferably a complete stranger).

If you're stumped for ideas, visit actsofkindness.org and go make a difference! :)

Presidential Quotes

In honor of Election Day (which is today, for those of you who aren't heading to the polls in your state), I thought I'd post some interesting Presidential quotes. At least, they're interesting to me...



We must never despair; our situation has been compromising before, and it has changed for the better; so I trust it will again. If difficulties arise, we must put forth new exertion and proportion our efforts to the exigencies of the times.

~ George Washington

A pen is certainly an excellent instrument to fix a man's attention and to inflame his ambition.

~ John Adams

That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves.

~Thomas Jefferson

I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient for the day.

~Abraham Lincoln

The only man who makes no mistake is the man who does nothing.

~Theodore Roosevelt

I have never been hurt by anything I didn't say.

~John Calvin Coolidge

We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes.

~John F. Kennedy

Every new day begins with possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace.

~Ronald Reagan

A Head Start On New Year's

Yesterday, Kyle and I took the plunge (no, not THAT plunge - we did that over 15 years ago...). We finally joined a local gym.
We've been dragging our feet about this, but talking about it for some time. Now that we've been here 5 months, we thought it was time to, A) admit we're really local residents and put down some roots (the gym membership is a two year commitment), and B) get serious about our fitness again.

So, today marks day one of our new fitness regime - we are both restarting the Body for Life plan that has been remarkably successful in the past at bringing our fitness levels up and fat levels down in a short period of time.

Why am I blogging about this? Accountability, people. I need it.

Will you hold me to it?

Better yet, will you join us? :)

JoAnna's Day 1 so far: cut out sugar and cream from my morning coffee, ran on the treadmill for HIIT workout, drank 12 oz. of water and counting...

Cupcakes and Gingerbread girls

Here are some pictures from Halloween 2009. Enjoy!

Rocking the Boat

Have you ever noticed that when one member of a group, whatever the group might be, is off balance, the whole group loses balance? In this case, the group I'm referring to is our family, but I think this principle applies to all groups where people interact with and depend upon one another - including friends, clubs, churches, schools, governments, charitable organizations and for profit businesses.

(Now, many of you may find yourselves thinking about members of your own family that are off balance, but try to stay with me here - this is an easy way to get distracted, and I've already written about how I'm losing that battle lately...)

Anyway, this week was a week of change and family-member-off-balanceness (is that a word?). It wasn't any one member who was off balance at any given time, and, at least this week, it wasn't always me.

One person in our family this week got sick (again), another had some difficult challenges personally that caused an emotional setback. The rest of the family members, who weren't the boat rockers at that given moment (believe me, we all take turns!), just tried to hold on and keep things moving in the right direction. But being unaffected was not an option, even though some of us might have wanted it that way.

The details are less important than the big picture. What is important to take away from this week, for me, is that one member of the family who is experiencing drama of any kind can easily rock the family boat. Whether or not one person realizes it, their drama impacts the other people in their group - sometimes in minor ways, sometimes in not-so-minor ways, but there is always an impact. But, there's also always an opportunity to come together as a group and overcome one person's struggle together.

Then, I got to thinking about my own drama (yes, occasionally, I experience a tiny bit). My thoughts turn to something I heard years ago about how the wife/mother of a family is often (or always) in a position to set the tone for the entire family. The phrasing was more eloquent than, "if momma ain't happy, then no one's happy," but it had the same sentiment. It's a big responsibility, and one that I don't always successfully engage in, but so true in my experience. When I start focusing on my family, and less on my own "stuff," the whole group is better for it. And, when I have some type of personal struggle (because we all do) and it's my turn to rock the boat, I can always rely on my family to rally around me, because I'm not in this alone.

It's not really rocket science, it's just interesting to me at the moment that we're so interconnected. In a world where many of us sometimes feel all alone (myself included), when you really think about it, even the littlest ripple in one person's life can make an impact on so many others.

Just a few things I'm pondering today...

A close call

Apparently, I've been... what's the word, oh yeah - distracted lately.

Before yesterday, it had been over a month since I last mowed the lawn (good thing we're in the slow growing season, and it's not abundantly obvious to everyone who drives by our house!).

I don't know the last time I gave our house a good cleaning - the kind where all surfaces get cleaned, floors are vacuumed and mopped, furniture is dusted. I'm talking more than just spot cleaning here and there. It's been awhile.

This blog has been neglected, and posts are few and far between.

And, on Saturday, a very real example of my state of distraction got my attention in the form of a minor traffic violation. Luckily, no one was hurt, but, honestly, that is by the sheer grace of God.
I was driving to the store, and we stopped at a red light. I was thinking about where we were going, the shopping I needed to get done, the woman in the car next to me who was shielding her face from the glaring sunshine, etc. etc. The traffic light changed, and I started driving through the intersection. The next thing I realize is there are cars honking and I'm not sure why. Then, I realize they're honking at me. I had run through the red light, apparently thinking the green left turn arrow was a green light, when it wasn't. I was already three quarters through the intersection, stopping both oncoming turn lanes because I wasn't paying attention. I saw no other choice but to just keep driving.

I quickly scanned my rear view mirror and the surrounding area for a police car, and was relieved to see that there was none. From the back seat, Bri asked why the cars were honking and I had to admit to her that I just ran a light because I was distracted. She asked me if I was going to jail, and I told her that I thought I was safe from that particular penalty, although, if a police car pulled me over, I would certainly get a ticket, and I deserved one.

Then, I got to thinking how frustrated all those people must have been with me. God only knows what they were all thinking or saying about me, and I was defenseless. I was guilty, and there was no excuse. My first instinct was to think about how I would defend myself - I've got a lot on my mind, it'd been a long day, I was tired... Then, it hit me.

What I needed was not a great defense for my behavior or to deflect my bad judgement by pointing out how my offense was small, comparatively speaking. No, what I needed was grace.

I was guilty, I made a poor decision, and I could have seriously hurt someone (including the two precious children in my back seat). And, truth be told, there have been so many other times that I've been guilty with no defense, but walked away without having to pay (sometimes traffic related, lots of times not).

So, I'm just so thankful today for grace. And for other drivers in my neighborhood who were not distracted on Saturday. If you were one of them, please accept my apologies.

Either way, I hope you are able to extend grace to someone in your life today - what a gift it is to receive.