Gifts

So, I've noticed that there has been alot of reference in my life here and there to certain themes - usually a lesson I'm learning at any given time.  Invariably, I'll notice that whatever it is I'm going through (and the corresponding lesson) is brought up for me in many different and creative ways, I'll watch a movie related to the theme, I'll feel drawn to books on the topic, or books I'm already drawn to will touch on the topic at hand, people in my life will bring it up at seemingly random times, etc.  I've come to learn that this will continue until I digest and incorporate whatever it is into my way of life, change my behavior or thoughts about certain things, or something changes in some way.

The theme I'm currently focused on, in particular, is to ask and believe God for great things, even above all my expectations and dreams.  I've had a friend mention this concept to me (more than once), I've read about it lately in more than one book, I've heard a couple of sermons on the topic.  All that to say, I feel like God is hitting me over the head with that idea right now - not to just expect Him to choose the time and place (He will, anyway) to lavish a gift or two upon me without my asking, but to take the time to ask Him to, and expect Him to answer in ways that I couldn't have predicted (meaning, beyond my expectations, and generously - more than I could possibly deserve).

I've had some tough breaks over the past year (I know I'm not the only one!).  I've gone through some loss, some change, some heartache.  I've asked for some things, been given them, then had them taken away in a heartbeat.  I had come to believe that I shouldn't ask for anything and just be content with what I already have (not that there's anything wrong with that).  But, my lesson, specifically, I think, is to learn to depend wholly on the Lord, in good times and in bad, in plenty and in want.  It is only then that I will truly get just how much He loves me, has provided for me, and wants to surround me with His grace and generosity.  If I don't recognize the gifts, how can I possibly notice the giver?

So, I'm timidly stepping out a little bit and asking for some great things.  I don't know if He'll see fit to give them to me, but I'm asking, which is a big step for me right now.  He already knows all of my needs - He knows them better than I do.  And I'm learning that in this relationship with Him, He expects me to come to Him with my joys and my needs.  So, I'm trying.  I suppose this is a lifelong process, and I know He won't honor every request I make of Him.

Something hit me yesterday as we were singing in our new church home yesterday, and I thought I'd share it with you.  As I was marveling at our new beautiful church full of people and families with young children, at the incredible talent of those who were leading worship, at the powerful message given by the pastor, at the new youth pastor who attended yesterday with his wife for the first time after moving here and all that having a youth pastor would bring to the congregation (we've never been involved in a church with a youth pastor on staff before!), at the 85 degree weather we've been enjoying after leaving a rainy and somewhat cold Colorado springtime, at the sounds of the exotic birds that sing here all day long in the desert, at the palm trees, at the multitude of parks, paths, pools, and community centers that dot our city - it hit me.

He's lavished untold gifts upon Kyle and I and our children already.  I didn't ask for all of this.  He just gave it to us.  I took it all for granted until I realized that being here wasn't our choice, and in every way we've felt like it's been chosen for us.  That's the point.  He chose this for us, and while I know the road will not be always smooth and trouble free, I'm getting a small taste of just how much He wants to bless His children.  I'm so glad that I'm one of them.