Be Still

I've been noticing lately an increasing stirring in me that is becoming more and more difficult to ignore.  This stirring is my need to do, to be more, to strive for something higher. 

This innate desire of mine that I've seen throughout my life is not necessarily a bad quality - it has caused me to push myself further than I thought I could go (as an athlete, as a mother, as a human being).  The problem with it is tricky, though. 

It often begs me to compare myself to others, which inevitably leads to my feeling inadequate - unfocused.  It's a distraction, and not always a good thing.

I write all this because in this moment, I've noticed a longing for something...  I don't know what.  Just something else.  A new job...no job... another baby... a vacation... rearranged furniture... fill in the blank.  I'm all over the place and I seem to have lost focus.  Now the big move is complete, and there is no big project for me to spend my energy on.  I find simply being and savoring the moment unnaturally uncomfortable.  What is that?

"Be still and know that I am God" (psalm 46:10)  has always been a verse I've been drawn to.  I have a sneaking suspicion that maybe it is because being still doesn't speak to my gifts.  But, I've always wished for the ability to simply hand all my worries and cares over to my God, and let Him be in charge.  Since He is anyway.

So, as painful as it is, I'm going to force myself to take no action.  I'm going to resist the unbearable temptation to find a volunteer  position or a paid position or some other distracting position to swallow up all my time.  I'm going to just be still and wait for inspiration. 



In the meantime, I love this song and am amazed as I ponder all of God's creation pictured in this video.  I hope it inspires you, too, and helps you to be still, if, like me, that is what you need.