Rocking the Boat

Have you ever noticed that when one member of a group, whatever the group might be, is off balance, the whole group loses balance? In this case, the group I'm referring to is our family, but I think this principle applies to all groups where people interact with and depend upon one another - including friends, clubs, churches, schools, governments, charitable organizations and for profit businesses.

(Now, many of you may find yourselves thinking about members of your own family that are off balance, but try to stay with me here - this is an easy way to get distracted, and I've already written about how I'm losing that battle lately...)

Anyway, this week was a week of change and family-member-off-balanceness (is that a word?). It wasn't any one member who was off balance at any given time, and, at least this week, it wasn't always me.

One person in our family this week got sick (again), another had some difficult challenges personally that caused an emotional setback. The rest of the family members, who weren't the boat rockers at that given moment (believe me, we all take turns!), just tried to hold on and keep things moving in the right direction. But being unaffected was not an option, even though some of us might have wanted it that way.

The details are less important than the big picture. What is important to take away from this week, for me, is that one member of the family who is experiencing drama of any kind can easily rock the family boat. Whether or not one person realizes it, their drama impacts the other people in their group - sometimes in minor ways, sometimes in not-so-minor ways, but there is always an impact. But, there's also always an opportunity to come together as a group and overcome one person's struggle together.

Then, I got to thinking about my own drama (yes, occasionally, I experience a tiny bit). My thoughts turn to something I heard years ago about how the wife/mother of a family is often (or always) in a position to set the tone for the entire family. The phrasing was more eloquent than, "if momma ain't happy, then no one's happy," but it had the same sentiment. It's a big responsibility, and one that I don't always successfully engage in, but so true in my experience. When I start focusing on my family, and less on my own "stuff," the whole group is better for it. And, when I have some type of personal struggle (because we all do) and it's my turn to rock the boat, I can always rely on my family to rally around me, because I'm not in this alone.

It's not really rocket science, it's just interesting to me at the moment that we're so interconnected. In a world where many of us sometimes feel all alone (myself included), when you really think about it, even the littlest ripple in one person's life can make an impact on so many others.

Just a few things I'm pondering today...

A close call

Apparently, I've been... what's the word, oh yeah - distracted lately.

Before yesterday, it had been over a month since I last mowed the lawn (good thing we're in the slow growing season, and it's not abundantly obvious to everyone who drives by our house!).

I don't know the last time I gave our house a good cleaning - the kind where all surfaces get cleaned, floors are vacuumed and mopped, furniture is dusted. I'm talking more than just spot cleaning here and there. It's been awhile.

This blog has been neglected, and posts are few and far between.

And, on Saturday, a very real example of my state of distraction got my attention in the form of a minor traffic violation. Luckily, no one was hurt, but, honestly, that is by the sheer grace of God.
I was driving to the store, and we stopped at a red light. I was thinking about where we were going, the shopping I needed to get done, the woman in the car next to me who was shielding her face from the glaring sunshine, etc. etc. The traffic light changed, and I started driving through the intersection. The next thing I realize is there are cars honking and I'm not sure why. Then, I realize they're honking at me. I had run through the red light, apparently thinking the green left turn arrow was a green light, when it wasn't. I was already three quarters through the intersection, stopping both oncoming turn lanes because I wasn't paying attention. I saw no other choice but to just keep driving.

I quickly scanned my rear view mirror and the surrounding area for a police car, and was relieved to see that there was none. From the back seat, Bri asked why the cars were honking and I had to admit to her that I just ran a light because I was distracted. She asked me if I was going to jail, and I told her that I thought I was safe from that particular penalty, although, if a police car pulled me over, I would certainly get a ticket, and I deserved one.

Then, I got to thinking how frustrated all those people must have been with me. God only knows what they were all thinking or saying about me, and I was defenseless. I was guilty, and there was no excuse. My first instinct was to think about how I would defend myself - I've got a lot on my mind, it'd been a long day, I was tired... Then, it hit me.

What I needed was not a great defense for my behavior or to deflect my bad judgement by pointing out how my offense was small, comparatively speaking. No, what I needed was grace.

I was guilty, I made a poor decision, and I could have seriously hurt someone (including the two precious children in my back seat). And, truth be told, there have been so many other times that I've been guilty with no defense, but walked away without having to pay (sometimes traffic related, lots of times not).

So, I'm just so thankful today for grace. And for other drivers in my neighborhood who were not distracted on Saturday. If you were one of them, please accept my apologies.

Either way, I hope you are able to extend grace to someone in your life today - what a gift it is to receive.

Please excuse the dust

I'm ready for some change and my blog is a reflection of that, so... It's a work in progress. :)

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I'd LOVE to have you!! And, as always, thanks for reading as I ponder in the desert.

A Pandemic

Kyle returned home at the end of last week after working in Phoenix and woke up the next morning with a full on case of the flu. Literally, one minute he was feeling fine, the next he was miserable. It was quite something to watch. And I was so thankful that I was the one watching it, not going through it.

He spent the next 72 hours in bed with a ridiculously high fever, and I felt compelled to wake up through the night to check on him and make sure he didn't need to go to the hospital or wasn't having seizures due to the fever. Luckily, he started to get better yesterday, and besides a fainting episode around midday (he was up and moving around, but had eaten very little for three days), he was apparently on the road to restored health.

Then, yesterday afternoon, I picked Bri up from school to find her with a fever and complaining of a headache. Here we go for round two...

Denali and I publicly proclaimed that we are the healthy two in our household, and the virus will not take us down. It won't.

Today, I'll spend a disproportionate amount of time doing load after load of laundry. If it's fabric and washable, it's getting thrown in. If only I could figure out a way to hose down the inside of the house without destroying much of it... Let me see, where's the clorox spray??

What do we know of holy?

I was at a small group this week and getting to know some people here a little better and something struck me during a conversation with a woman and her husband. They are new to the church and are planning to be baptized soon, and we were talking about raising our kids in the faith and how hard that can be when we feel like we don't know it all or have it all together ourselves. And I wonder if I ever will have it all together.

There was no discussion about this, but my mind turned to the spiritual elitism that I've seen in the church that can easily pollute this young couple in the faith. They were talking about how it was intimidating to come to church for the first few times because they are so new to Christianity, and I was thinking about how it was intimidating to me because I was so new to the area. Different but the same - we were both being fed the same lie. I felt compelled to welcome these two children of God into the family, and assure them of their great worth - with or without all the knowledge they seek - they know Jesus and that is what is important to Him. Really, what else to do we need?

He speaks to each and every one of us individually - in a way that only speaks to us because He knows us inside and out. And He wants us to know and seek Him in the same way, with the same passion and intensity. When I think about that, I'm humbled to think that He cares that much about me - all my flaws and failures included. Like this couple, He loves me even though I don't know all the great Bible stories by heart and never went to VBS as a kid.

Later that day, I was driving and this song came on the radio by Addison Road. I've heard it at least four times since our meeting last week, and keep thinking about posting on this topic. I am finally getting it done. Enjoy the song and ask yourself, "what do you know of holy?"

The Harsh Truth

I love running to the music of Dave Matthew's Band - the lyrics are edgy and culturally relevant, and get me just angry enough to get through that last mile. This morning, when I broke my current running drought (my headaches are finally GONE!), I heard this song - "Mother, Father." It got me thinking about the state of our world today.

While I am living in my comfortable home and driving my comfortable car to get whatever I need from the store just around the corner, so many people in our world don't have clean water or a sense of safety right now. Yet, God created them just the same as He created me, and for some reason I don't understand, He placed me where He did, and them where they are. I found this video that puts it all into perspective. WARNING: it is graphic, but nothing photographed is fabricated - it all happened in real life.

After you watch this, you might walk away with a knot in your stomach, like I did. You might feel an overwhelming sense of sadness, or wish you hadn't had your good day interrupted by the tragedy you'll see, like I did. But, as the song says, "it's up to us to keep the flow," and we can't reflect the goodness and love of our Creator if we bury our heads in the sand. (and ignore the "think free" propaganda that ends the video, unless it encourages you to use your God given free will to enact some positive change)

Who turned off the heat?

So, the locals have been talking for some time about the day the weather "breaks." When this magical day arrives, literally, overnight it will go from triple digit temperatures (it's been around 100 degrees or more since we got here four months ago) to highs in the 70s.

On Tuesday the weather guy said that would be our last day of triple digits for the rest of 2009. I doubted it - I mean, the weather man in Colorado was never quite sure what would happen from one hour to the next, so how could one here predict for weeks and months to come? And, seriously, 100+ degree temps are all we've known now for the entire time we've been here.

As promised, the milestone for this year was apparently yesterday, when it only got up to something like 77 degrees - a full 30 degrees below "normal." Today, like yesterday, the high is only about 75 degrees or so, and I'm fishing out all my jeans and long sleeve shirts (I think I'm officially a desert wimp now). And, I'm stumped as I look outside and see that things are so drastically different from every other climate I've ever lived in (albeit a limited variety).

Let the record show that the locals must know what they're talking about, and Wednesday, Sept. 30 was the day they all celebrate as the beginning of our reward for surviving the summer in the desert.

Bizarre.

I wish I could shake the looming fear that soon it will be a snowy, icy, winter tundra like every other year when fall shows up.