Our Trip to Las Vegas

OK, it's taken me a few days to recover and get back into the swing of things, but I'm finally taking the time to post pictures from our trip. All in all, it was a good trip - we got accomplished what I'd hoped in looking around Las Vegas, and I'm feeling a little less like it is all unknown. There is peace in that, and I'll take it!

So, below are some of the shots I took. One of the things I always find secretly funny (and amazing) is the crazy things people will print on signs. While I didn't have my camera ready to capture all of the insane things I saw on signs (you'd be surprised!), here are a choice few:

We also got some pretty landscape scenes - the desert is definitely a different climate with altered vegetation and colors and shapes.

And, finally, some shots of the girls along the way:

We were pleased to find that the church we'd scouted out via the Internet turned out to be a place we felt at home when we attended their service the Sunday we were there. The tour of their private Lutheran school was also impressive and we are hopeful that we'll be able to afford to send Aubrielle in the fall. We looked around the neighborhood where we'll be staying when we first move, and decided that we will plan on buying in that area when we are able because we liked it so much. The weather while we were there was definitely not cut out for shorts and tank tops quite yet (I'm sure that will come soon enough!), but when we heard of the blizzard back here in Colorado, we pushed our drive home back a day to stay on the safe side.

The girls got plenty of aunt Keri time and were able to talk her into buying them each a scooter and helmets, a pogo stick (which Bri promptly mastered after only a day of intense practice), numerous snacks and treats, and two visits to Chuck E Cheese. They also got to see Grandma Libby (my mom), who brought them some new clothes to take home. I think it's safe to say they were spoiled rotten. :)

Kyle and I were sick the whole time with upper respiratory infections and coughs. One afternoon, we spent two hours at an urgent care so he could get a prescription for antibiotics to treat the sinus infection he'd developed. He told me the first order of business upon our arrival in Las Vegas is to find a good family doctor. We hope to never repeat that experience.

The drive out and back took us, in total, four days. As I suspected, I tired of the car within just a few hours of our departure, but we listened to a couple of interesting books on tape and Adventures in Odyssey to pass the time. So, in a nutshell, that is how the trip went. I'm glad we went - it was good for us to introduce this new city to the girls (and to me!), and I'm equally glad to be back home in Colorado!

A Decision

Decisions. We're faced with so many day to day that it would make my head spin if I realized just how many I make in a 24 hour period. It is noteable to me that even though I successfully choose between countless options set before me all day long, I struggle with what I deem 'BIG' decisions. The little ones seem so much a part of life that I hardly notice them. I make them with little concern and plenty of confidence.

Why, then, when faced with what I subjectively call a BIG decision, am I suddenly anxious and practically paralyzed in my overanalysis of "what ifs"? When I choose wisely, I hardly give myself any credit. Instead, I roll along with little regard for what might have happened if another route was chosen (take those instances when driving that we've all had when we choose one thing, knowing full well that another choice would have surely been life altering). I don't pay much attention to the "good" choices I make, but watch out if I choose wrong. In addition to any negative consequences (which can be so brutal), I then have to face my own worst critic. Myself.

What IS that?? I mean, I know that I'm not the only one who does that - focus on my mistakes (or those of others, like, say, my children), rather than small victories (or even the large ones). I may have very thoughtfully and prayerfully come to a certain conclusion about a crossroad I have faced in my life (talking about the BIGGER decisions), weighed my options carefully, and chosen wisely at the precise time I needed to, which has allowed some wonderful consequence to blossom, but when asked about the best decisions I've made in my life, I find myself pausing to think and feel unsure. Of course, marrying Kyle was a good one. And finishing my Master's Degree, having my girls, pursuing a healthy lifestyle.


When asked about the worst decisions, so many come to mind it's hard to choose which to share. How about that time in high school when I drank alcohol at a party after Prom and ended up with an MIP and got kicked off the track team? Or, when I decided it would be fun to buy a brand new Pontiac Grand Prix because I wanted it, and later had to sell it because A) I couldn't really afford it and B) I became pregnant and a two door sports car just wouldn't really work out with the carseat and all. What about earlier today when I lost my cool with my girls and raised my voice for something trivial? I could go on and on and on, but you get the picture (it's harsh to see all of that in print!).


This decision we've been facing to move to Las Vegas falls, of course, into that BIG category. It's been made now. We're planning the move for late May, early June - just after Bri gets out of school for the summer. Whether this turns out to be one of those "good" decisions, or one that we'll regret, remains to be seen. That's the uncanny thing about decisions. You don't often get to see the consequences (good or bad) right away. But there are always consequences (good or bad).

I know this time this decision is life altering. I just don't know exactly how my life and the lives of our children will be altered - good or bad. Maybe that's a blessing, and I guess the point is to do the best we can with what we're facing. For now, there is peace in knowing the work of making this particular decision has been done - and that's something.

Home, and thankful

Hello! We're finally back home in Colorado - arrived yesterday evening. What a looooong time we spent on the road! I'm still recovering from the upper respiratory thing that made its way through each of us over the past three weeks (Kyle ended up spending 2 hours at an urgent care in Las Vegas to get antibiotics for what had progressed to a sinus infection) - it's been a long week! All I can say is, I'M SO GLAD TO BE HOME!!

We pushed our journey home back one day because of the spring snow storm we heard about on the news and were expecting slippery roads in Colorado, but instead found dry roads - thanks to the sunshine on Friday. We even stopped in Glenwood Springs and swam in the hot springs outdoor pool in 38 degree weather. Kyle swears by its reported healing properties and tells me the high mineral content of the water in the pools heals upper respiratory infections, cuts in skin, and acne, among other things. I'm not sure I'm convinced in the cure-all properties of mere water, but it ended up being a nice break from the car!

I was a little less than excited to leave 60-70 degree weather to come home to 30-40 degree temps, but sleeping in my own bed was priceless last night. And we were so thankful to drive up to our house to find that our wonderful neighbors took it upon themselves to shovel our driveway and walk to the front door while we were gone. We have the greatest neighbors - what a gift!

So, while I have lots to share about our trip and time in Las Vegas, I'll save that for a day in the near future, because I'm tired and want to just veg out in front of the tv today. :) I'll close with the top ten things I'm thankful for today:

10) Sunshine and melting snow!
9) Returning home safe and relatively healthy
8) My own king size bed that provides plenty of room and comfort
7) Home cooked meals
6) Familiar faces all around and knowing that we were missed (and prayed for!)
5) Having access to my own computer at my own desk in my own room!
4) Three loads of laundry already finished today, and not much more to do
3) Not needing a GPS in my car to find my way around and not having to be in my car for hours today
2) Knowing that those extra pounds I put on during our trip will eventually be worked off with resumed exercise and eating in
1) A full day with absolutely nothing I HAVE to get done!!

Some photos

Hi all! I'm writing from Las Vegas, where it was rainy and VERY windy yesterday... Today, it is supposed to be sunnier, but only about 62 degrees, which is below average, but I'll take it! Here are a few photos we took yesterday while driving through Red Rock National Park, about 1 mile away from the area where we will likely be living. This is Nevada's version of Garden of the Gods, and it felt somewhat familiar, except for the cacti and Joshua trees everywhere!

We were able to attend worship at Faith Lutheran Church (name sound familiar?!?) here in Las Vegas yesterday morning, and saw tons of other young families who are members there - good sign! The service we attended was one of three they have every Sunday, and the childrens' church coordinator told me that she usually has 100 kids in the earlier service and "only" about 60 for the one we attended. But, because it was rainy, lots of people weren't there that normally are... That is such a change from the small church we attend in WP with only about 300 total members!

The pastor's message was about letting God have control and seeing how He provides, because He always provides when He leads us (he used Abraham and Isaac as an example). Later that day, I got a message from a friend and part of what she said was "where God leads, He provides." Another friend texted me and said she's been praying for peace for us while we're here. I feel your prayers, and God is speaking to us. We are feeling His peace, His leading, and His provision. Thank you to all of you back home who are talking to Him on our behalves, we are humbled and so very thankful for you.

The girls are enjoying their time with Aunt Keri (Kyle's sister), and have plans to go with her to Chuck E Cheese tonight. Later today, my mom will be flying into Las Vegas and we'll have some time with her, too. She is coming out to help my aunt (her sister) decorate and furnish the second home she and her husband just bought here. For feeling like we are being sent into the desert all by ourselves, there are sure alot of people we know here, all of a sudden!

I'll try to post some more pictures later. I have some interesting shots to share!! :-D I hope all is well in Colorado, and we are looking forward to coming home at the end of the week. Talk to you all soon!

Well, we're off...

I've neglected my blog this week due to my uncanny ability to think that I can accomplish superhuman amounts of tasks into itty bitty amounts of time. This week, besides working a regular schedule crammed into four days (instead of five, since we're leaving today), spring break beginning on Thursday (both kids were home all day yesterday), parent teacher conferences (Aubrielle is a prize pupil, btw!), and packing for our trip (which isn't done, yet), I've had little time to breathe. And, I'm starting to come down with the virus that has made its way to each of my family members over the past two weeks... But, I digress,

Today is the day. We're packing up and heading out on a road trip to Las Vegas for the next 8 days. It will take us two days to travel there and two back - it's something like 12+ hours from point A to point B, so, in an effort to save Kyle and my sanity (good luck!), we're stopping after about 8 hours in Richfield, UT to stay the night. I'm anxious to be with the kids in Las Vegas, attend the church we've scouted out over the internet, tour schools, see the home where we think we'll be staying (at least until our house in CO sells), and get a general feel for what life is like as a local. I have certain expectations I cannot explain about what I'll learn from this trip that will ease my fear of the unknown. I hope these unknown expectations are met - whatever they are...

Road trips are not my thing. I'd so much rather get on a plane and get the travelling over with - just get there, already. But, our budget didn't allow for plane tickets and a car rental, so we (Kyle) opted for driving there ourselves. He loves road trips. Thinks they're an awesome opportunity to connect with your family and "be" with each other. I know there is great value in that, and something I definitely need to do more of. I'll be studying him.

Stillness does not speak to my gifts and it is something I want to be able to do without feeling like I need to climb the walls. Twelve hours of being strapped down in a confined space ought to curb that, don't you think?!? It's a small step, but I'm going to be intentional about just being today and all week.

Anyway, all that to say, I may be sporadic for the next several days with my posting, but I'll do my best to get some pictures to you all of our travels. Take care, and until next time...

Quotes I'm Pondering Today...

You are what you are and where you are because of what has gone into your mind. You can change what you are and where you are by changing what goes into your mind.

~Zig Ziglar

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.

~Hellen Keller

Before any great achievement, some measure of depression is very usual.

~C. H. Spurgeon

It hurts when God has to PRY things out of our hand!

~Corrie Ten Boom

The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's own or real life. The truth is, of course, that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life - the life God is sending one day by day.

~C.S. Lewis

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.

~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Through the eyes of a child

So, a few weeks ago, Kyle and I broke the news to Aubrielle that we were considering moving to Las Vegas. I was not in a good place emotionally about the move at the time (and still have my moments!). I didn't realize just how bad my attitude was until after our conversation with our first born. Without hesitation, Bri became excited and started talking about how much fun it would be to go to a new place and start new with friends at school, etc. etc. I was amazed, and a bit surprised, by her reaction.

I immediately assumed it was childish innocence, her not realizing the gravity of what we were telling her. I wanted her to know that this would mean she'd have to leave her school here for good, leave her friends - all that she knows of Colorado. I reasoned with myself, at seven years of age, how could she possibly understand all there was to consider? When I brought up some of the things to which she would have to say goodbye, she unflinchingly continued on about how she thought this would be a good thing, and listed even more reasons why. (As I type this, I'm embarrassed of my behavior!)

I dropped my inquisition and attempts to snap her back into reality (who's reality?!?) when it became clear she wasn't on my side of the argument. I've since spent considerable time mulling this over in my mind as I'm coming to terms with my own feelings about moving.

A few days later, having not learned my lesson, I decided to broach the topic again with her, as I was sure we had more to discuss - I mean, this is a big decision, right?!? So I asked her what she thought Las Vegas would be like, still looking for the flaw in her logic that would enable me to understand how she could so easily agree to leaving where shehad been living for her ENTIRE life with no hesitation. There HAD to be a flaw in her logic! (right?!?)

She very maturely listened to my question and gave it some thought before answering. She said, "It is a city, right?" I said it was. She said, "I think it will be like Colorado Springs, only bigger. And there will be warmer weather." Hmmm... Well, I guess that's true.

Just then, something clicked for me. Because of my own emotional state, I was inadvertently trying to teach my daughter to look at the glass half empty, which, unfortunately, tends to be my inclination (I mean, we don't know anyone there, it's a different culture and climate, there's more crime, etc. etc.!!). Her first reaction was to see the glass as half full. Maybe her simple viewpoint is also a good example to me as I try to have "faith like a child" (Mark 10:15, Luke 18:17).


Like me, Aubrielle doesn't get to make the final decision, she will simply follow us wherever we lead her because we're her parents and she depends upon us to meet her needs. Like me, Aubrielle will have to leave everything she's ever known, make new friends, and get used to a new home and new weather, but she trusts that her parents will provide for her, and that lends her confidence that she can overcome her obstacles with our support.

If I'm only human (and far from a perfect one!), and she trusts me and her father to meet her needs so she can see this glass as half full, how much more can I trust my Heavenly Father to do the same for me?

It's amazing how our kids can teach us so much, isn't it? I hope Aubrielle never loses the ability to see the glass as half full, and I'm making a concerted effort to look at things more the way she does, trusting that things will work out just fine - maybe even better than I could have imagined.

Mourn with those who mourn

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn" (Romans 12:15)

Grief. No other emotion can bring us to our knees with such force as grief. So universal, so devastating. The past several months, I've been hit with so many trials that have caused deep and long lasting grief and mourning. I'm tired, and I know I'm not the only one.

Yesterday, I got an urgent email from a friend asking for prayer for another friend who had been admitted to the hospital just a little bit earlier in the day. She is a fellow MOPS mom (Mothers of Preschoolers), with several young children. She was in critical condition and it was very touch and go. After a long, hard day, and many complications, she went home to be with the Lord just before midnight. It all happened within the window of less than a day.

I was not really close to her, she was a friend of a friend (of several other friends, actually), although I had just spoken with her two weeks ago by phone. She was graciously bringing my family the order of beef we'd just placed with her father, who owns a ranch, and we were making the arrangements. This was the second time she'd delivered beef right to our door, and the second time I'd be away from the house, leaving my husband to meet her. I jokingly said to her that someday we would actually meet in person. Now I know that that day will come when I join her in heaven after I'm called home. My heart aches for her children and her husband and her family as they are just trying to wrap their minds around this incredible loss.

It's cold here this morning. A fitting day for the morning after such tragedy for this family. As I drove my daughter to school I was struck by the faces in the cars I passed, most of them peacefully unaware of the devastation that death has brought overnight, and I don't blame them for that - they don't know. I was just thinking about how life inevitably goes on, and it is good that it does. But sometimes we get stuck.

Try as I might, at times like this I still feel stuck in my grief. Grief over this mother that won't be allowed to raise her small children along with her husband and see where their lives take them. Grief over a child of a friend and coworker who was tragically born still. Grief for my many friends who have known the pain of miscarriage (some of them more than once). Grief over my own child who didn't make it past the first trimester. Grief over our impending move. And I'm sad, and angry, and like a child I want to go home where everything is going to be ok. It's not ok here, and I want off this ride. (Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything irrational.)

Why does this have to be so hard? Why don't our prayers get answered? I try to look at it from God's point of view (in my infinitely limited ability to understand the Mind of God), and I am reminded of my own children. I don't always say 'yes' to their requests - mostly because I know that having candy for dinner or watching another movie wouldn't be good for them. I have to trust that God knows better for me, and when He tells us 'no' He is doing it for our own good. It doesn't make me like the answer any more than my own babies do, but it gives me perspective.

This morning, I revelled in the sweet smell of my daughters' hair as I kissed them good morning. I felt privileged to serve them another glass of orange juice and help them get dressed for their days. I'm trying to take nothing for granted, because none of us know what this day holds. That is the legacy of this sweet, young mother who now knows no more pain or grief. Thank you, S.B. Until we meet in heaven,

Because this song speaks to me in my own grief, and I hope it will speak to you, I'm closing this post with it. It's by Jars of Clay, called "The Valley". Grab some tissue, and then go love the people in your life:

A good laugh

I don't know about you, but this morning, I needed a good laugh. This video of Anita Renfroe's parody of Faith Hill's song "Just Breathe" gave it to me, and I hope it will bring some humor into your day, too! She is so silly!! This is in honor of my husband, who is out of town currently, so I'm free from this particular phenomenon this week. (He did give me permission to post this, btw!!) Enjoy! :)

Friendship

"My friends have made the story of my life. In a thousand ways they have turned my limitations into beautiful privileges, and enabled me to walk serene and happy in the shadow cast by my deprivation." ~Helen Keller

Friends. What a wonderful way for God to take care of us while we're here on earth.

Over the past 10 years here in Colorado, I've been blessed with so many. Friends that I've worked with, friends that I camp with, run up mountains with, drink coffee with, talk for hours on the phone with, feed my e-mail addiction with, etc. etc. Friendships have formed out of the most ordinary of life's activities and the most extraordinary. Bonds made between fellow women, mothers, wives, and sisters in Christ.

Today I ran into a friend at the coffee shop and we took a few minutes to catch up. We haven't had much time together over the past year, due to the craziness of life, but I was struck at how easy it was to pick up where we last left off, and at just the right time - for both of us. Last weekend, I attended a baby shower for another friend and was blessed to find the time to spend with several of my friends that I don't get to see very often.

There are friends, too, that have been in my life (or I've been in theirs!) for a short season, and we've now lost touch. I think of my friend whose husband struggled and later died of a brain tumor and wonder where she is today and what is going on in her life. I think of a friend who was once a close confidant, my go-to person for all of life's joys and challenges who is no longer so close and I miss some of our long conversations about nothing in general. I think of friends through various life stages, my high school/college friends, single friends, married without children friends, etc. etc. and wonder about each of them now. Do they have children of their own? Where are they living? Did they realize their hopes and dreams that we planned so carefully together all those years ago?

Whether these friendships endured for decades or mere months, they have each left their imprint on my life, shaping me, teaching me, and bringing me strong emotion - both good and bad.

One of the things I'm going to mourn the most about leaving Colorado is leaving my friends here. I know that God has promised to provide for me wherever I am, and because of that, I'm sure He'll bring new women into my life that will be just right for whatever season we're in, but it doesn't make leaving any easier. I do find comfort in knowing that we have the technology and transportation means to make the distance less of an obstacle to keeping close, but there is a nagging fear that it won't be the same. And maybe that's the point.

10 Things I'm Thankful For Today

In an effort to focus on the positive, I'm listing the top 10 things I'm thankful for today:

10) A smooth and easy morning with no yelling (on my part)
9) Aubrielle got to school on time

8) Everyone is healthy in our home right now
7) There is only a tiny bit of snow and ice left on our back patio (this is a milestone for me, I can't help it!!)
6) Well, it's Friday, of course!

5) I got the HUGE pile of laundry folded that was overtaking our bed last night

4) The sun is shining

3) I'm planning to go to spinning class today with a friend

2) My workweek ended at 8 am this morning!!

1) My husband and kids love me, even though I don't always deserve it. :)

Skiing photos

Thought you might enjoy the latest skiing pics! Or rather, the latest pre-skiing, getting ready to ski pics! :)

Two kinds of people

I just came across this quote by C.S. Lewis that made me laugh. Then think...

"There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way."

Control Freak

I admit it, I struggle daily with the need to control. Everything. I want to be in charge, unless I don't. I want to control the influences on my children, the nutrition choices of my family, the remote control. I go to such control freak extremes as to obsess about details about things that may or may not happen - just so I can feel more in control. I control my daily schedule and those of my children. I control the amount of exercise I do and what food I eat (or don't). I control my reactions (or lack thereof) to others, most specifically, to my husband and my children. I control my emotions - or do I?

Emotions... They're so, well, uncontrollable. They just happen, despite my valiant attempts to make them do what I want, they don't. I am plugging along and seemingly out of nowhere I'll find myself welling up with tears and feeling sad or overwhelmed or mad or... More than I care to admit, I am asking myself "where did THAT come from, and what IS it?". So I can control it, presumably. That's the thing. Even if I know what is causing my emotion, I don't have the power to control it. It just is. And I just have to walk through it.

When I was in graduate school, I decided that the topic for my dissertation would be grief. I wanted to know anything and everything about the topic - what it looks like, how to measure it, what to do about treating it. In my attempt to learn everything I could about grief (which I know was to avoid ever having to feel it for myself, but I'll spare you the extended psychoanalysis!), what I learned was that it is hard to measure and control. There are simply too many variables to consider (the grief event, life experience, attitudes, cultural influences, etc). While there are some things that are universal in the human experience of grieving, too many things about it are individual. Everyone (including me) feels it in a unique way and has to cope with it on their own, individual terms. (Glad I spent considerable time and effort to learn that!)

As it turns out, with emotions, or more generally just in everyday life, as much as we work to be in control, it really is an illusion. It doesn't stop people like me from trying and fooling ourselves into feeling like we have control, but when we're honest, we admit that, ultimately, we're not the ones in control.

Sure, there are some things I've been given the authority to control - I DO get to control whether I brush my teeth or have another cup of coffee or go to bed early. I get to control my reactions to my loved ones - sometimes I choose wisely, and other times I choose very, very poorly.

It just occurred to me that there is wisdom in focusing on the things I can control and make the effort to choose wisely, instead of focusing on the many things I can't control, which causes me to spin my wheels, and are a complete waste of my time and energy. Maybe you can find some wisdom in that in your life, too. Maybe you already have.

It all reminds me of lyrics to another of Sara Groves' songs, " Remember Surrender":

'Remember surrender,
Remember the rest
Remember that weight lifting off of your chest
And realizing that it's not up to you, and it never was"

A day at the park

We took advantage of the gorgeous weather this afternoon and went to the park. You'd think the girls never get the opportunity to run wild in a huge grassy flat (oh, wait, they don't! We DO live on the side of a mountain!!). Anyway, we found one down in the Springs at a park, and here are some shots.

Enjoy!

March is here!!

Spring has seemingly sprung this week in Colorado (almost three weeks early)! I don't know about you, but there is a special "right with the world" feeling that I have whenever there is a little more sunshine and a little less snow right about this time of year. Now, I know that March is traditionally a very heavy snowfall kinda month for us here in the Rockies, but so far, so good.

We took the kids to Breckenridge skiing on Sunday and it was wonderfully warm - hot even. Each and every one of us got a sunburn on our faces because Kyle and I were negligent in applying sunscreen. While my face is a bit lobsteresque right now, I wear it proudly, for it means good things are on their way, weather-wise.

Yesterday, in an attempt to integrate my daily workout into my daily mommy pick-up-the-kids-from-school duties, I decided to take advantage of our 60 degree weather and run to the church to pick up Denali, then walk with her to Aubrielle's school, then the three of us would walk home together. Great plan! The run went well (it's downhill the whole way!!), the walk from Denali's school to Bri's was fine, it gave her and I time to debrief her day together. We played at Bri's school until her bell rang, and we all set off to go home. While it was a rather lofty goal for a three year old (Bri's school is about 1.5 miles from our house, Denali's is about 2), she told me earlier in the day not to bring her stroller, because "I'm not a baby, mom". So, I obeyed and she walked. Slowly. Sometimes, riding piggy-back style on me, sometimes walking on her own. But, we eventually got there, nonetheless. Bri is already making plans to bring some of her own money to stop at the Loaf N Jug on our way home to get us snacks today when we walk home. Guess I started a new tradition! You gotta love when kids get excited to spend time together walking home from school.

Anyway, carry on, my friends. Just thought I'd share the love. Enjoy this warmth while it lasts!!