Breakin the Rules

Sometimes you just have to break the rules. 

You know those days when what you had planned isn't exactly what you wanted to do with your precious little time?  Or, more accurately, when what you had planned was just exactly opposite what you wanted to do?  In fact, have you ever felt like going through with what you had planned would cause unnecessary stress, hardship, pain, and suffering??

Well, today was one of those days for me.  What I had planned was to meet my trainer for the last of our appointments at the gym.  What I REALLY wanted to do was anything but meet my trainer at the gym.  Seriously. 

Root canal?  Ok! 

Change a friend's kid's blown out diaper?  Sign me up! 

Just don't make me endure one more session of weight lifting with the trainer who will not listen to me now matter how much I tell her I loathe that particular form of exercise!! 

I mean, I'm not afraid to sweat.  I LOVE spinning, swimming endless laps in a pool, and running triathlons.  I'm no stranger to the gym, and under any other circumstances I doubt I'd be so adamant.  What is it about this trainer that makes me long to crawl under a rock and hide?  What is it about lifting weights that makes me wish I could go poke pins in my eyes instead??  Why, when I volunteered for this, am I IM'ing a friend with less than 13 minutes before my appt. so she could make me feel better about the way I was feeling? (Thanks, Sunny, for your unwavering support!)

Anyway, so what I had planned today was just SO not what I wanted to do.  So, I didn't.  Instead, Denali and I went to In n Out Burger and the park for lunch.

I hope the guilt doesn't eat me alive...

Be Still

I've been noticing lately an increasing stirring in me that is becoming more and more difficult to ignore.  This stirring is my need to do, to be more, to strive for something higher. 

This innate desire of mine that I've seen throughout my life is not necessarily a bad quality - it has caused me to push myself further than I thought I could go (as an athlete, as a mother, as a human being).  The problem with it is tricky, though. 

It often begs me to compare myself to others, which inevitably leads to my feeling inadequate - unfocused.  It's a distraction, and not always a good thing.

I write all this because in this moment, I've noticed a longing for something...  I don't know what.  Just something else.  A new job...no job... another baby... a vacation... rearranged furniture... fill in the blank.  I'm all over the place and I seem to have lost focus.  Now the big move is complete, and there is no big project for me to spend my energy on.  I find simply being and savoring the moment unnaturally uncomfortable.  What is that?

"Be still and know that I am God" (psalm 46:10)  has always been a verse I've been drawn to.  I have a sneaking suspicion that maybe it is because being still doesn't speak to my gifts.  But, I've always wished for the ability to simply hand all my worries and cares over to my God, and let Him be in charge.  Since He is anyway.

So, as painful as it is, I'm going to force myself to take no action.  I'm going to resist the unbearable temptation to find a volunteer  position or a paid position or some other distracting position to swallow up all my time.  I'm going to just be still and wait for inspiration. 



In the meantime, I love this song and am amazed as I ponder all of God's creation pictured in this video.  I hope it inspires you, too, and helps you to be still, if, like me, that is what you need.

Freak of Nature

Why does my body have to fight me so?  I've started going to the gym regularly (I've written about this before), I'm working with a trainer at the gym who's having me lift weights (which I HATE to do), and I've been careful about not adding calories to my days even though my increased activity screams for them.

All of that effort, and it never fails that once a week or two go by with regular exercise, I GAIN WEIGHT!!  huh?  Isn't it supposed to work the other way around? 

Throughout my adult life, whenever I go through an activity lull, I ALWAYS lose weight.  When I was training for triathlons, working out like two hours every day, I kept waiting for the weight to melt off.  But, no - I actually maintained or even gained a few pounds during that year of intensity.  This last summer, with all of the craziness of moving, the intensity of the heat, and my two month long headache, I was not exercising much at all.  Yep, I lost about five pounds.  ??

I mean, where's my built in incentive to keep trudging away on the treadmill and meeting that lady who makes me try out all the stupid nautilus machines at the gym??  I've lost my CO running buddies, so now I don't even have their great conversation to prompt me to keep moving. 

All I have now is a higher number on the scale.  Yipee.  Oh, and I suppose the knowledge that I'm taking good care of my health...

(And, if you're tempted to comment about how muscle weighs more than fat, or anything about how it's not the scale that is the measure of good health - tell that to the trainer who, after weighing me, told me that I'm "overfat".  I'm only slightly bitter about that still.)

sigh

The valleys

I have this great calendar (from The Purpose Driven Life) hanging on my kitchen wall, and every month there is a new inspirational saying to focus on for the next 30 ish days.  As soon as I turned the page on my calendar this month, I knew I'd be blogging about November's saying.  It is timely for me personally, and I hope it inspires you, too.

"God wants to BUILD our faith in the valleys. We love the mountaintops... but we build faith in the valleys. When we come face to face with a dark valley, we get on our knees."

Remembering today

Today marks one year since we lost our third baby to miscarriage. Throughout the time since this unspeakable tragedy in our lives, I've been amazed at the number of women I've met who have suffered this silent grief - and blessed by their strength and support, and that of all of my wonderful friends. Thank you, to all of you who've been my rock and soft place in the tough times.

Like all grief, it is a process, and healing is happening. I found this song, and it really speaks what's in my heart - for my own lost baby, and for all of us who have been through the pain of losing a child before they were born. I know one day I'll meet our little one, when I go home. For now, I'll have to be content to know the perfect arms of our Saviour hold our baby, until we can.

Random Acts of Kindness

So, I love to watch the Food Network, and this weekend Ina (of the show _Barefoot Contessa_) was testing a recipe, but was at home alone and would not be able to eat the whole meal, so instead, she called a friend to ask if she could use a cooked three course dinner for her family that evening. Her friend was surprised and very pleased (who wouldn't be?!?), and I was struck at just how out of the ordinary it is that something like that happens to us in our daily lives. (Yes, I know this was likely staged for the sake of the show, but stay with me, here.)

Inspiration struck me yesterday morning in the Starbucks drive-through and I spent the rest of the day thinking about it. What if we all practiced random acts of kindness - maybe just commit to one each day - what kind of impact would that make?

You know how it makes you feel when you do something unexpected and thoughtful for another person, expecting nothing in return? At least for me, it is a feeling not replicated by anything else in life. But, somehow, in the busyness of life, I often overlook the opportunities all around me to make someone's day.

A few days ago, this news story played on our local station, and it struck me, too.



This lady went to great lengths to find the owner of this camera, and did it all not expecting anything in return, much less news coverage.

Won't you join me in "paying it forward"? As we head into the Thanksgiving holiday, I'm going to take time each day to make someone's day (preferably a complete stranger).

If you're stumped for ideas, visit actsofkindness.org and go make a difference! :)

Presidential Quotes

In honor of Election Day (which is today, for those of you who aren't heading to the polls in your state), I thought I'd post some interesting Presidential quotes. At least, they're interesting to me...



We must never despair; our situation has been compromising before, and it has changed for the better; so I trust it will again. If difficulties arise, we must put forth new exertion and proportion our efforts to the exigencies of the times.

~ George Washington

A pen is certainly an excellent instrument to fix a man's attention and to inflame his ambition.

~ John Adams

That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves.

~Thomas Jefferson

I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient for the day.

~Abraham Lincoln

The only man who makes no mistake is the man who does nothing.

~Theodore Roosevelt

I have never been hurt by anything I didn't say.

~John Calvin Coolidge

We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes.

~John F. Kennedy

Every new day begins with possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace.

~Ronald Reagan

A Head Start On New Year's

Yesterday, Kyle and I took the plunge (no, not THAT plunge - we did that over 15 years ago...). We finally joined a local gym.
We've been dragging our feet about this, but talking about it for some time. Now that we've been here 5 months, we thought it was time to, A) admit we're really local residents and put down some roots (the gym membership is a two year commitment), and B) get serious about our fitness again.

So, today marks day one of our new fitness regime - we are both restarting the Body for Life plan that has been remarkably successful in the past at bringing our fitness levels up and fat levels down in a short period of time.

Why am I blogging about this? Accountability, people. I need it.

Will you hold me to it?

Better yet, will you join us? :)

JoAnna's Day 1 so far: cut out sugar and cream from my morning coffee, ran on the treadmill for HIIT workout, drank 12 oz. of water and counting...

Cupcakes and Gingerbread girls

Here are some pictures from Halloween 2009. Enjoy!